Forgotten Vows
by cagiant246
Summary: What if you found "the one" when you were a kid? What if you "married" them when you were 10? What if you found out that marriage was actually real and valid? What if when you went to ask for a divorce you realized what you just discovered you had is all you ever actually wanted?
1. Chapter 1

What if you found "the one" when you were a kid? What if you "married" them when you were 10? What if you found out that marriage was actually real and valid? What if when you went to ask for a divorce you realized what you just discovered you had is all you ever actually wanted?

Or

Maura and Jane, inseparable from the time the Rizzoli's started to work for the Isles', decided to get "married" when they were ten. 21 years later Maura discovered that the little ceremony was valid and in order to marry her fiancé must first get a divorce. But it doesn't take long for her to realize that perhaps she and Jane were always meant to be.

* * *

"I don't understand what could be so important that he couldn't explain it over the phone. Or why, if it has to be said in person, he couldn't come to deliver it at our home. I mean, isn't that why we pay him so much?"

Maura shook her head as the elevator continued to rise. She was tired of this argument. He had been going on about it for the last five minutes.

"Garrett…" she sighed.

"Fine, fine," he conceded as he pulled out his phone and began scrolling through emails. "I just hope this doesn't take too long."

She took a deep breath as they exited onto one of the top floors of the building. A busy, but welcoming, assistant showed them to an expensively decorated office, and as they continued to sit and wait, Maura couldn't help how her mind wandered.

It meandered through everything. From issues with combining their personal estates to needing additional details for their prenup. But eventually she let them quiet. There was no use in fretting over it, clearly her fiancé wasn't, they would be told in a moment.

It wasn't much longer before their lawyer walked in, hurried and apologetic, taking a seat across from them both. Maura gave him a small, understanding smile. One he returned. One that was quickly wiped away once he met Garrett's annoyed stare. He cleared his throat before starting.

"So sorry to keep you waiting. I'm sure you're both quite busy."

"Yes we are," Garrett replied sharply.

"Right," he warily replied, shuffling a few papers across his desk. He looked back up to them both, his eyes full of what Maura would best describe as hesitation, perhaps fear. "So, it seems that there is a small hiccup with the approval of your marriage license application."

The words grabbed them both. Garrett finally put his phone back in his jacket pocket. Maura sat a little straighter in her chair. It was perhaps the last thing they would have guessed. The application was supposed to be the easiest part of them getting married. Because Maura knew the wedding planning certainly hadn't been so far.

Maura cleared her throat and set a light hand on Garrett's knee in an attempt to settle his visibly growing irritation. "What is the issue?"

The man gave a quick look over to Garrett, settling for only a second on his dark, hardened eyes before focusing back to Maura. He swallowed hard as though it would help, but his words still came out slow and reluctant.

"Well, it seems that your application has been denied and therefore you cannot get married at this time."

"Why was it denied?" Garrett growled, jerking his knee so her hand slipped away. The man flinched, his glasses slipping down his nose, at the sudden and harsh reaction.

"Because… well," he pushed his glasses back up and took a breath. "Because Dr. Isles is already married."

"What!"

"What?"

They both exclaimed at the same time. One in anger. One in confusion. Garrett turned to Maura, his movements fast and sharp and accusatory.

"You're married?" He practically spat.

"No. No, of course not. There's been a mistake."

She turned back to the lawyer, head shaking lightly back and forth. Her eyes wide and pleading. There had to have been a mistake. Something had been misread. Or forms had been accidentally swapped. Because there truly was no other explanation. And when she locked her gaze with his, he knew everything she was asking without her saying anything.

He gave a quick shake of his head. "I can assure you there is no mistake. I have checked via multiple sources."

"Who the hell is it?" Garrett practically shouted at him. Once again the man flinched as though he thought this time Garrett was going to lunge across the desk. Garrett glared a moment and when met with more silence, he turned his judgmental stare upon Maura.

The lawyer turned his attention to her. The fear in his eyes from Garrett slipped away, leaving behind only soft concern and a silent request, asking if she would like him to disclose the information. She stayed still for a few moments. Still in shock. Still trying to figure out who and how and when. But she couldn't find anything and she gave a stilted nod.

"Please," she asked. "So we can get all of this sorted."

He nodded back, flipping open the folder before him. "It would seem you are married to a one, Jane Rizzoli."

She sucked in sharply before becoming frozen. Just her limbs though, because inside everything was moving a mile a minute. Her head was racing. Her heart beat fast and hard. Even her stomach seemed to start doing flips at the sound of Jane's name.

"Jane…" she whispered. The name buzzed on her tongue.

"What? Jane? A woman? Maura?" The questions poured from his mouth, building one on top of the other. Each one expecting an answer. Something she couldn't find for any of them.

The room suddenly felt small and hot. She stood quickly, causing her chair to slide backwards, and the jarring noise it made only added to the confusion that was rapidly filling the office.

"Excuse me for a moment," she said, dashing for the hall. She raced past the assistant and made a few turns that lead her to a remote part of the building. Far enough away she knew Garrett wouldn't continue to search for her, if he even went looking at all.

She leaned against the wall and took a few steadying breaths. Her eyes closed and she let the sound of her heartbeat in her ears drown everything else out. Everything except Jane. And then it flooded her. An understanding of where all the confusion stemmed from. The memory of a moment that had once been one of her most treasured. A bright spot in an otherwise lonely childhood. And it replayed in perfect clarity.

* * *

_21 years before_

_They huddled under the shelter of their favorite place. A small hodgepodge of a fort they had managed to piece together with scrap lumber and fallen tree branches and old bedsheets. A spot where their friendship was the only thing that mattered to them both. An escape of sorts._

_It was a place where sometimes Maura would try to explain to Jane the complicated subject her tutor was trying to teach her. Other times Jane would show Maura how to make things like friendship bracelets and cootie-catchers. And still, other times they just silently enjoyed each other's company, a book in both their hands._

_As was the case then, until Maura broke the comfortable quiet between them._

"_Jane?"_

_She looked up from the well-worn pages of her comic book, eyes bright like they always were for her best friend. "Yeah?"_

"_Did you know that the feeling of love is primarily driven by the hormone oxytocin?"_

"_No, but I do know," Jane replied with a genuine smile. Because she truly loved it when Maura told her odd and interesting facts. It was similar to how she could spew off sports statistics like no one else, except more impressive. Much more impressive._

"_But…" Maura trailed off, gnawing at the corner of her lip for a few seconds, a tell-tale sign to Jane that she was apprehensive, but after a few more moments she continued. "But do you think it's more than just that? More than just hormones and biology?"_

"_Maybe," she said with a nod, pausing for just a moment as her answer continued to build. "I think it's probably that plus all the moments you share with someone. Like when you laugh together. Or when you tell each other your favorite things. Just when you get to know someone and make lots of memories. I think all of that is a part of loving someone. Why?"_

_Maura didn't answer, instead her head dropped to the book in her lap. Falling to the words that had churned up all the questions running through her head. Jane inched forward, her own concern growing with each silent second._

"_Do you think everyone can be loved?"_

"_Of course," her hand fell soft on Maura's knee. "Maura, what's this about?"_

_She looked up. Her eyes had become glassy, filled with worried tears. Her words came out soft. _

"_I don't think anyone in my family actually loves one another."_

"_Maur-," Jane tried to interject, but Maura stopped her._

"_No, it's true Jane. My parents certainly don't love each other and I'm not sure they love me. And what if that means I can't love anyone or if no one can love me and I grow up to be alone. What if I stay alone for the rest of my life?"_

_Jane frowned. She'd been over to the Isles' estate enough times to conclude that Maura's parents both lived in their own worlds. Each of them with their own hobbies and interests and areas of the house. They always seemed so cold and distant. And though she couldn't help but agree, it pained her to see the effect it had on Maura._

"_You're not alone Maura," she said, earning a skeptical look. Jane gave a little squeeze to Maura's knee. "You're not. Because you have me. You'll always have me. And we're best friends and I'll always love you."_

_The worry vanished from her face. Eyes softening. Mouth curling to a smile. Because this was a promise. And though lots of people had broken lots of promises to her in the past. Never Jane. _

"_Forever?"_

"_Forever."_

_It fell quiet within their space, but Jane could see the wheels in Maura's head turning. Processing and planning. She had gotten pretty good guessing what Maura might say after she got that look. Usually it was some interesting fact from the pile she always kept tucked away. Other times she'd try, and often fail, at telling a joke she once heard. And rarely, there were times when she just stayed quiet and they both went back to doing what they were doing. But she would have never guessed the words Maura spoke next._

"_We should get married."_

_Jane's mouth dropped open in shock. Then closed. Then fell open again. Her eyes wide and brows raised._

"_What?" She exclaimed._

_Maura smirked, a devilish thing she only showed to Jane. "You heard me, Jane. You and me. The two of us should get married to one another. We love each other and are best friends and this way we will always have each other. No matter what."_

"_Maura, we can't."_

"_Why not?"_

_Her mouth continued to hang open slightly, just enough for a huff of disbelief to escape. She shook her head once, then twice, giving her just enough time for her mouth to finally catch up with her brain.  
_

"_Because… because we're only ten," she managed, sticking to the most logical reason._

"_And?"_

"_And… that makes us too young to get married."_

"_I don't believe age should disqualify us."_

"_But the law does."_

_Maura just narrowed her eyes and Jane understood. She was smart and clever enough that she could find a loophole. That there was probably a way around it and she'd be the one to find it._

_Jane cleared her throat, because that had been her primary argument. It had been her one good shot at convincing Maura they couldn't do this. Not shouldn't, but couldn't. Because, even though she had vehemently denied to her mother and teasing brothers, that she hadn't thought about her potential wedding, she had. And it always included Maura. And it always scared her to death. _

"_Okay, well how about because neither of us knows how to plan a wedding."_

"_That is something we could easily figure out. Plus, I don't believe we would want anything big." Her words were straight to the point and easily erasing away all the excuses Jane could come up with. Until there was only one rotten idea left._

"_And, well, you're you and I'm me and we can't."_

"_What is that supposed to mean?"_

_Jane let out a sigh. "You're an Isles, Maura. Your family practically owns half of Boston, and I'm just me. Daughter of your family's handyman."_

_Maura flinched and Jane instantly wished she could swallow the words back up. Because Maura wasn't like her mother or father. If anything, Jane knew Maura wished above almost everything she didn't have the Isles name and reputation attached to her._

"_That's not fair. I don't care about that and you know it," she replied, a sting to her voice that caused Jane's eyes to drop._

"_Yeah I know, Maur. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."_

_Maura nodded a couple of times as they both fell quiet. Jane's thoughts still lingered on the flub she had just made. But Maura's had already travelled back to her initial proposal._

"_So?"_

_Jane looked back up, slightly perplexed as to what Maura was asking about, because she couldn't still be asking what Jane thought she was._

"_So what?"_

"_Will you marry me?"_

_"Maura, you're supposed to be the rational and practical one between us. This won't work. "_

"_But we can try. Please, Jane," Maura pleaded. She inched forward, moving close enough that as the two of them sat cross-legged, their knees touched, and she set a gentle hand on Jane's. She fell back to what she said earlier. "We're best friends and we love each other and this way I'll know that I'll always have you, no matter what. We won't be alone."  
_

_Jane could feel her face flush, the warmth spreading across her entire body, as Maura continued to stare. Deep and exposing. And she didn't know why she tried so hard to fight against it. She would do practically anything to make Maura happy. She she always would. _

_Slowly a smile began to tug at the corners of her lips. And the blush that had started to fade filled her cheeks once again._

"_Okay, yes. I will marry you. But-," her face went serious for a second, because her next words were non-negotiable. "- I am not wearing a dress."_

_Maura launched into Jane, her arms wrapping her tight in a hug that was all awkward angles and muffled giggles, until they lost the little bit of balance they were clinging to and rolled onto their backs. Their laughs still going. Full of joy and light. And for the moment, Maura was convinced it was enough to make them float._

* * *

The sharp shrill of an office phone ringing and a harsh shuffling of dropped files startled Maura back. Her breaths were shallow and heartbeats hard. And she wasn't certain if it was because the noises had made her jump, or if it was a reaction to the memory. Or more accurately, the person in the memory.

After a few steadying breaths, she walked back to the office. Her strides filled with determination. A drive to figure out what to do next so they could move forward. Because as much as it pained her to admit, Jane was only a part of the past. And yet some of that purpose was dashed when she realized Garrett was no longer there.

She motioned to his empty chair as she took her own seat. "Garrett?"

"He stepped outside to take a call," relief evident in each of his words.

Maura nodded, picking up on the man's relief and understanding completely. Because while she was bothered Garrett hadn't stayed to show support, she couldn't deny that it would be easier to work through this without him there. She took a deep breath, glancing to her watch, only then realizing how much time had passed.

"I apologize for stepping out for so long."

"It's quite alright. I realize how much of a shock this must be for you."

Her gaze dropped to the files open on his desk. The ones that held all the evidence she was having trouble believing. She shook her head a few times and looked back up.

"There has to be a mistake. I know you've assured me there isn't, but we were 10 when we did that little wedding. There's no way that it was legal or binding. It was just something we did to make me feel not so alone," she pleaded, her words trailing as she realized those years had truly been the only time she hadn't felt that way. Alone. Misunderstood.

His eyes softened and lips pursed slightly, falling somewhere between a frown and sympathetic grin.

"Dr. Isles, I wouldn't have brought it up if I wasn't completely certain. You are legally married to Ms. Rizzoli."

She swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump that had suddenly settled in her throat. And after a few tries, she could finally speak again.

"Okay. Well, how do we fix this?"

"I suppose the way most marriages are dissolved. Ask for a divorce."

Maura's chest constricted at the idea of it all. At the thought of what Garrett was going to say. And the actual act of drawing up divorce papers. And then there was Jane. Speaking with her after all these years. Explaining this entire situation to her. Getting her to the sign papers.

And for a fleeting moment she couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps signing them, that going through with dissolving the marriage she didn't know was real until minutes earlier, wasn't the right thing to do. That maybe Jane wasn't just a part of her past. But then Garrett walked back in and she shook them away.

"Right, divorce."

* * *

You'll have to suspend reality to enjoy this story, because this certainly wouldn't be legal or happen, but it's a fun idea.


	2. Chapter 2

I truly hope this update finds you and your family safe and healthy, and that it brings you some joy in these uncertain times. I know I've fallen back to your reviews and support many, many times over these past few weeks and cannot begin to explain how much they mean to me. I really am so thankful for you all.

* * *

_21 years ago_

_"Shh," Maura said in an almost pleading whisper._

_Her eyes scanned the unaware crowd for any signs that they had been heard. It was unlikely, yet made her wary nonetheless. Her parents had made it clear she was to stay out of sight when they hosted events at their home, like the fundraising dinner unfolding in front of her. And she had always complied. But that was before Jane. Before she had been shown how to push the boundaries in ways kids did. However, now they were toeing the line more than she liked._

_She gave a soft nudge into Jane's side with her elbow. "Jane, you're going to get us caught."_

_"Sorry," she managed through the fit of giggles that held her firmly in their grasp._

_But the quiet didn't last long, as Jane's laugh once again began to fill the room, bringing a lightness to the space that always seemed so heavy and solemn. Her father's study. A spot they quickly discovered gave them an almost full view of all the rooms her parents used when hosting, while keeping them completely hidden. A perfect spot for people watching and playing one of their favorite games. Giving those people ridiculous back stories._

_"It's just… it's just… Maura, that was such a good one," Jane finally managed to wheeze out, the giggles subsiding and her breath returning to normal._

_The small worry disappeared from her face. A proud smile pulled at her cheeks, stretching up to meet her eyes. "Really?"_

_Jane looked back out to the subject of Maura's backstory and the laughter almost consumed her once again. She nodded with a large grin. One that always made Maura feel warm and accepted. Equal parts mischief and charm and excitement._

_Maura beamed a warm smile back. The compliment meant more than she was sure Jane would ever realize. With a giddy buzz flooding her every sense, Maura turned back to look out towards the crowd once more, quickly locking eyes with one of her parent's guests. All the air in her lungs escaped in a sharp gasp and she pulled Jane down with her so they were no longer peering out over the top of her father's leather sofa._

_Jane crinkled her eyes in confusion. "What?"_

_"The lady saw us."_

_Still uncertain of exactly what was going on, Jane went to look back over the couch, only to be pulled firmly back down._

_"The lady that I made the story about" Maura started. "She saw us."_

_Jane nodded. They both stayed still and silent, listening for any approaching footsteps or voices. Anything that indicated they had actually been caught and were going to be scolded. But nothing came and eventually the quiet filled with their combined laughter once again. A mix of fragments from the backstory and the thrill of almost being caught. And by the time they finished, they were left gasping for breath with sore cheeks, both leaning back against the couch for support._

_"Hey, Maura."_

_"Yeah?" she replied, turning just slightly so they were facing each other._

_"I kind of have a surprise for you."_

_"You do?" Jane nodded in reply. "What is it?"_

_"You have to close your eyes first."_

_Maura narrowed her eyes. A playful skepticism washing over her face. Because she could only imagine what Jane had up her sleeve._

_Jane let out a small chuckle, seemingly expecting exactly the reaction Maura gave her._

_"C'mon, Maura. Trust me."_

_"Fine. But it better not be a toad," she replied as she closed her eyes, recalling the time Jane told her about how she had once surprised her younger brother Frankie with a toad she had found._

_She laughed again. "It's not. Promise."_

_Her smile grew as she waited. The noise of rustling from Jane's bag across the room filled her with a giddy anticipation until she was certain she was going to explode. "Jane?"_

_Her question was met with a bit more rustling and then silence before she could feel Jane settle before her. Maura's heart ticked a little faster as Jane took her hand and gently placed an object in her palm._

_"Okay. Open them."_

_The box teetered a few times, doing its best to balance on the unevenness of her hand. Her eyes remained locked on it. Small and unassuming. But Maura knew that it held something special. That whatever was inside was meaningful and treasured._

_"What is it?" her question echoed the same from earlier._

_Jane gave a casual shrug of her shoulders. Her smile wide and eyes sparkly. "You'll have to open it."_

_Her fingers wrapped around the box. It was light in her hand and for a split second all she wanted to do was give it a quick shake, something she had never before been compelled to do, always proper and controlled in any event she was given a gift. But sitting next to her best friend, a giddiness radiating off of the both of them, she couldn't help the small jiggle she gave it._

_Jane let out a small almost-laugh. "That's not going to help much. I made sure to pack it really good."_

_Maura tried once more, a little harder, but again all she could hear was a small amount of rustling from what she guessed was paper that Jane had used as filler._

_"That may be, but it's kind of fun," she replied. Jane smiled back and scooted a little closer._

_Maura leaned in, bringing the two of them even nearer and slowly removed the lid to peer inside. It took a moment to find the surprise, well hidden within crumpled newspaper, but eventually her fingers found it. A waxed piece of tan twine with a silver washer, the kind that are found stuck between nuts and bolts, hanging from the end. She brought the necklace closer, holding it carefully, more so than any expensive piece of jewelry she had ever worn, and she lost her breath._

_Stamped along the bottom, perfectly center, sat a simple M + J._

_She looked back up to find a blush had washed across Jane's cheeks._

_"I thought maybe these could kind of be like our wedding rings. But we don't have to use them, I just thought…"_

_"Jane, I love them." She twirled it in her fingers and only then did it hit her. That normal washers wouldn't have their initials. She ran her fingers over the delicate engraving. "Did you do this?"_

_She nodded._

_"I found everything in my Pop's workshop at home and he said he wasn't using them. And then I figured out how to get our initials on them. Took a few tries and a couple of band-aids," she joked, holding up the finger that was still bandaged up and gave it a little wiggle._

_Maura pulled her gaze from those little letters. First focusing on Jane's hands and the cuts surely still under the neon green band-aid. And then finding her eyes. Wide and somewhat uncertain, waiting for her to say something. And for a while she stayed quiet. Because there were no words to express how much she treasured her best friend. How much it meant that Jane would do something like this for her._

_"This is perfect," she managed. Their goofy grins matched one another. "Do you have one?"_

_"Yeah," Jane replied quickly, fishing into her back pocket to pull out one identical to what Maura held in her hand._

_"Do you think it would be okay to start wearing them now?"_

_Jane's eyes softened, crinkling around the edges ever so slightly, and she gave a single nod._

_"I think we can do whatever we want."_

_Maura smiled back and didn't wait a second longer before slipping the necklace onto her neck. She looked down to where it hung, resting against her chest, and she couldn't help but notice how perfectly close it sat to her heart. How it fit like nothing else before ever had. How that seemed to be the case with everything she shared with Jane. That they fit like two best friends should._

_She wrapped her hand tight around it, her fingers once again feeling the faint groves of the engraving underneath. And the warmth that came from everything within the moment bubbled so large in her chest that she found herself leaning even closer to Jane, poised as if about to whisper a secret, until she quickly changed course and pressed a soft peck of kiss to Jane's cheek._

_Instantly her cheeks went pink and worry flooded her eyes. Jane's hand shot to the spot where Maura's kiss had landed and they caught eyes, both slightly bewildered. But Jane's shock slowly dissipated. A look of mild wonderment took its place. The half-smile that appeared only made Maura's face feel hotter._

_"Sorry," Maura whispered._

_Jane lightly shook her head, fingers still pressed to the spot on her cheek. "It's alright."_

_Her words were just enough to settle them both. And they sat quiet for a bit. Eyes locked on one another. Fingers fidgeting with their "wedding bands". Both lost in the wonder of the entire night. Until they were each startled back into the reality they had escaped from._

_"What are you two up to?" Vince's voice boomed in the room, alerting them to his presence moments before he stepped around the side of the couch to find them in their little spot._

_Jane dropped her hand and Maura scooted a couple inches away. Both looking like deer caught in headlights._

_"Nothing," Jane replied, so quick it only served to make them look like they were up to trouble._

_Vince narrowed his eyes in well warranted skepticism. "Why don't I believe you?"_

_Again, Jane's quick and over exaggerated shrug did nothing to help, and Maura gave her a soft nudge in her side with her elbow. The move, one which Jane had taught her, just enough to jostle them both back to their normal behaviors. Vince gave a hearty laugh and shook his head a couple of times._

_"Alright," he started again. "Well, Miss Isles, you better sneak back upstairs. It's almost time for bed. And you Miss Rizzoli, your father just finished up and is looking for you so the two of you can head home yourselves."_

_"Right," Jane said as she scooped up her backpack._

_Vince followed right behind her, ready to escort her to the front door. Maura watched them go, palm against her chest, covering the silver metal ring._

_"Jane," she called out, just as they were about to exit the study. Jane turned and Maura gave a soft smile. "Thank you."_

_She smiled back. "Night, Maura."_

* * *

Present Day

She wasn't sure how long she had been standing across the street staring at the small hardware store. Jane's Hardware and Repair. Much longer than socially acceptable she was sure. And frankly, she was surprised someone hadn't called to report her as some sort of suspicious person.

But that didn't really matter anymore. What mattered was she finally forced her feet to move and now stood mere steps from the door. A well balanced mix of anxiety and anticipation had her nerves causing shivers. Shivers that left goosebumps over her shoulders and a weight in her chest. Because even with all the thoughts of what seeing Jane would be like after all this time, all she could come back to were the papers that sat heavy in her purse. Heavy in her mind. And heavy atop her heart. But she forced herself to take a deep steadying breath as her hand fell to the door handle and she pushed it open.

The jingle of a bell over her head caused her to startle, taking in a swift, sharp breath. But a calm settled over her almost immediately after. The store flooded her with its smell. Saw dust and metal shavings and almost completely hidden under those, the subtle hint of linen. The same soft scent Jane's clothes had always smelled of when they were kids.

Maura's eyes wandered over the store. It was somehow overwhelmingly cluttered and yet charmingly cozy. A perfect embodiment of the Rizzoli's. A warmth built in her chest as she moved further into the store. Her eyes no longer wandering, but rather searching. And she stopped in her tracks as the person she sought came around from behind a display.

"Can I help…" Jane started, trailing off before she could finish. Her mind went completely blank. Her whole body practically short circuited. Unable to stop how quickly her jaw dropped or how wide her eyes grew. Because there before her was the one person she thought she would never see again. "Maura?"

Maura's smile was hesitant and reserved as she took a few steps closer.

"Jane. Hi."

"Hi... um, wow. Hi." A deep scarlet blush swept over her cheeks upon her fumbling. The words not anywhere near what she wanted to say. Nowhere close to what she imagined she would say if ever given the chance.

In that moment Maura chastised herself for not calling. For not letting Jane know she was coming. This wasn't something she should have sprung on her. But then a calm broke through the shock. She watched as a soft but elated smile pulled at Jane's lips and a flash of joy ran across her eyes. And that sight alone was worth everything.

"Sorry," Jane said with a shake of her head. "It's just I didn't think… never mind. It's so great to see you Maura. Are you here for something?" She motioned broadly to the entire store.

"Umm, no. I'm not." Her words hung there for a moment. Jane waiting for her to continue and she scrambled to find what she needed to say. Because for the life of her she still hadn't been able to find the right words to explain the entire situation. She cleared her throat. "Actually, I was hoping to talk you."

Jane tilted her head ever so slightly. Curiosity piqued.

"Really? What about?"

"Well…" Maura started before a shout of 'excuse me' from across the store jostled them both out of the little bubble they had been in.

Jane shot her an apologetic smile.

"Sorry. I'll be right back."

"Of course."

As Jane walked away, Maura glanced over her shoulder to find Jane too had turned back. Their eyes meeting for a brief moment. A look that Maura was quick to untangle. Part disbelief. Part wariness. One from the fact that she was standing in her store. The other, Maura assumed, from the thought that if she were gone too long, she would disappear again. And she wished she could ease it away. That she was there to speak with her for anything other than what she was there for.

It only took a few awkward seconds rooted near the entry before she began to wander around the quaint store, stopping every so often to look at a particularly interesting power tool, until she found herself at a back corner. A spot clear of shelves and supplies. Instead occupied by a small workbench and a wall of framed pictures. Some old. Some new. All of them of people the Rizzoli clan held dear. Aunts, uncles, siblings, friends.

A smile spread over her face as she looked over them all. Stopping every so often when she came across a face she recognized. She kept the memories of all of them close. Knowing how warm each of them had been to her. How welcoming and kind and loud and wonderful they all were. How she wished her own family had been back then.

But as she continued, she froze, eyes locked on a photo right in the middle. One that included her. She and Jane as kids, no older than 9 or 10. Maura reached out her hand, fingers grazing over the rough grains of the wood frame, before they settled gently atop the glass. And then she saw it, hear heart jumping to her throat, her hand quickly moving to her chest. To where it had hung for so long.

In the picture, the two of them stood side by side, Jane's arm wrapped around her shoulders. Cheeky grins on both of their faces. Each of them wearing their washer wedding rings. Her hand balled into a fist as she wished she could grip onto it like she had so many times in the past. She had worn it for ages. Worn it until it was worn out, recalling how devastated she had been when she discovered the twine had broken and it slipped off her neck without her realizing. Lost forever.

"I see you've found my favorite place in the store."

Maura jumped at the sudden comment, swiveling quickly to find one of Jane's trademark Rizzoli grins.

"Sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to startle you."

She nodded back as Jane moved closer, so they were standing side by side, just like the picture.

Jane pointed to their photo. "Do you remember that?"

Maura's smile grew and she nodded. "Of course I do." And as she stood there, Jane by her side and memories of the past bright and vivid, she couldn't help the joke that slipped out. "I mean, with the bangs you had back then, how could I not."

Jane stared at her for a moment, temporarily stunned, before she burst into laughter. One that Maura recognized. A little deeper, perhaps raspier than when they were kids, but just as light and good. And after a few seconds, Maura joined in. Because it was entirely true. Both of them remembering when Angela had tried to cut Jane's hair and the awful result that became of it.

"That's all you remember?"

"Of course not, but it is quite difficult to forget."

Jane pulled her eyes from the wall. Her gaze a mix of question and nostalgia. Apprehensive and wanting. And Maura understood it all. Could read everything. And yet the distance between them made her feel as though they were strangers. Time had changed certain things. But not everything. Not the fact that they had been married all these years.

Jane broke eye contact first.

"I know you said you wanted to talk and I'm about to close the store for lunch so, would you like to get a cup of coffee?"

"I'd love that."

* * *

Maura watched as Jane tore away the tops of the sugar packets, pouring them all into her coffee, and she couldn't stop the grin that formed.

"I see some things never change."

Jane looked up, her forehead slightly creased with confusion, and Maura found her breath suddenly stolen. The kind of stolen only Jane had ever caused.

"What's that?"

Maura pointed to the steaming cup. "Your sweet tooth seems unchanged."

Jane smiled back, quick and fleeting before she took a sip. The cup hung at her lips, her eyes never leaving Maura's. And she could see all the thoughts running through Jane's head. Hoping that they were similar thoughts to her own.

"What?"

"Nothing," Jane replied with a shake of her head, finally setting the coffee down. "It's just really great to see you."

Maura nodded without saying a word. Completely understanding what Jane meant. Because it had dawned on her during their walk over to the small coffee shop, that this was the most relaxed and herself she had been since she could remember. Maybe since they were kids. An ease that now she could see only came with Jane.

"To be honest," Jane continued. "I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again. Well, besides some picture in the New York Times about how you're going to save the world or something."

Maura's smile faltered. Fell into an almost half grimace. Regret flooded her chest. Because if she were honest too, she felt the same. And then the reason they were seeing each other again, the papers in her purse, made her change the direction of their conversation quickly.

"You're store is lovely. I've never been in a hardware store that had so much warmth to it. How long have you had it?"

"Just a couple of years. Pop and I had a handyman company for a while, but when he retired I decided to expand the business a bit. And the store is what it turned into."

"And you like it?"

She watched as a sparkle gleamed in Jane's eye. "Yeah, I really do. There's something about helping everybody that walks in there, or going to a site to do a repair… it's just really rewarding. I feel like I'm contributing to something in a small way."

"It sounds perfect."

"Okay, now your turn. Tell me what the brilliant Maura Isles has been up to."

Her mind raced for a moment, trying to settle on something to start with because suddenly there was so much she wanted to share. She wanted Jane to once again know every detail there was, just as they were all those years ago. But finally her logical brain caught up, focusing her jumbled thoughts on the larger aspects of her life. The details could wait. After all, she couldn't be certain they would see each other again once they had signed the papers.

"Well," she started. "I became a doctor."

Jane smirked as if she had won something and Maura couldn't help her intrigue.

"What?"

"I always knew that's what you would do."

"You did not," she was quick to protest. "And if you did, I suppose all those medical books I read as a kid were probably a pretty good clue."

Jane shook her head. "No, I knew before we actually became friends."

"What?! Jane, there's no way you knew that," she protested.

"Yes I did," she repeated. "From that very first time we met in your parent's kitchen. When I had the hiccups and you told me that the reason for the 'hic' sound is because our vocal cords close suddenly, I knew right then."

Maura narrowed her eyes playfully, eventually taking a sip of coffee. "Maybe you should have become a police detective instead."

"There's still time, you never know," she joked back, the feeling of comfort from earlier in Jane's store coming back to them both. "Okay then Dr. Isles, what else? What kind of medicine do you practice?"

"Oh," was all she managed at first as her mind traveled to Angela. How she had never told anyone the Rizzoli matriarch was the reason she had gone into oncology in the first place. How she had wished everything turned out differently all those years ago. And it certainly wasn't the time now either. She gave a quick shake of her head. "I don't really practice medicine anymore. Now I oversee everything about the Isles' Foundation. The closest I've come to medicine since moving back to Boston is through my own charity."

She didn't miss how Jane's jaw clenched at the mention of the Isles Foundation. And she couldn't blame her. Looking back Constance had been awful, she knew that even as a kid. And it pained her now that she still had as much control over her as she did.

But that anger was quickly shaken away.

"Well, I'll bet you are an exceptional doctor and if you ever went back to practicing, any patient would be lucky to have you."

If possible, she was certain her heart would have skipped a beat at the compliment. It was the first one in ages she truly felt was genuine. And in that moment she realized how right she was earlier when she said some things never change. Because one of them was Jane Rizzoli's belief in her no matter what. And it felt like nothing else in the world.

They each let the conversation fall to a lull for a moment, both taking sips of their coffees, each soaking in all that was happening. The unexpected ease of it all.

As the lull stretched, Maura watched Jane. Doing her best to figure out her mannerisms, her expressions, everything that had once been second nature. Trying to determine what had stayed the same and what had changed. And that was when she caught her. Intently staring at a man near the door, thoughts racing across her eyes, and she knew. And as if she knew she had been made, Jane turned her attention back to her.

"Were you just…?" she half pointed to the man.

Jane furrowed her brow. "What?"

"Oh don't play coy, you were completely giving that person a backstory. I know you were."

Jane waited a moment before finally confessing. "Fine. Yes I was."

Maura tilted her head, remembering how wonderful it was to play that game together. "You still play it?"

"Sometimes."

"It seems like a lifetime ago that we did that together, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Jane agreed. "It does."

Jane dropped her head, her stare falling to the now almost empty cup, as she gave it a quick swirl. And that was when she saw it. The small scar on Jane's right pointer finger. So faint you'd miss it if you didn't know it was there. The one that had been under that neon green bandage all those years before.

Without thinking, her left hand reached out. But her fingers only grazed over Jane's scar, the contact between them like a fire licked them both. Hot and intense and it spread wild up her arm. She knew Jane felt it too. Too electric not to have been.

But as quickly as Maura was to pull away, Jane was even faster, and caught her hand, holding it for a moment. The spark against their skin faded, cooling into something softer. Something Maura wished she could explain, but any attempt she might have made was washed away by Jane's faltering smile. Her gaze fully falling upon the diamond engagement ring.

Their hands fell apart, quick and unceremoniously. And instantly Maura missed the contact.

"Congratulations." Maura didn't miss the strained smile on Jane's face or how her shoulders tensed. But Jane continued. "How long have you been married?"

She dropped her head. Everything suddenly felt as though it were rushing back. Her engagement to Garrett. Her marriage to Jane. The divorce papers waiting to be signed in her purse. And to make it all the more complicated, everything that had flooded back to the surface since she and Jane reconnected. She shook her head once and looked back up.

"I'm not married… yet. I'm not married yet. Just engaged." She took a deep breath, releasing it in a sigh before continuing. "Which is actually what I wanted to speak with you about."

Jane scooted a little closer, her face filled with obvious confusion.

"Oh, um, okay sure."

Maura glanced to her purse hanging on the chair beside her. Thoughts of what lay inside making the air around them thick and heavy. Nothing like how everything had been minutes earlier. Her heart beat hard against her chest as she looked back and found Jane's eyes.

"I'm not really sure how to say this," her voice faltered and she cleared her throat. "But, during all of our wedding preparations and planning, Garrett and I, came across a situation that… well, that requires you."

Her mouth fell open and closed a couple of times, eyebrows remaining knit together. And Maura understood the confusion. It had only been a couple of days since she too had a similar expression on her own face.

"Me?"

Maura nodded.

"It's… it's just," she tried to get the words out. All she needed to do was to blurt out 'I can't get married because I already am to you'.

But her voice stayed silent. Because she couldn't shake the feeling that if she said that, if Jane knew and signed the papers, that they would go back to the semi-strangers they'd become. Only this time permanently. And she didn't want that to happen. Not after the wonder of an afternoon she just had.

She sat a little straighter, her mind scrambling to find a different reason. To find a half-truth she could skate by on. Something that wouldn't cause her to break out in hives from a lie. Something that gave her more time with Jane. And then, like a beacon in the dark, the conversation she and Garrett had a couple of weeks prior, one of the few planning meetings he actually attended, came racing back.

"We've decided on an outdoor wedding. Something along the back edge of the estate." She stopped for a second, hit with her own nostalgia as she watched the flicker of recognition spring to Jane's eyes. That back edge had been their area. "Garret, and his mother, and my mother, they all believe that we need to have a custom platform-arbor structure made to fit the grandeur of what this event is going to become.

"And I know that it might not be exactly what you do, but I thought of you, and the fort we made as kids and all the things you fixed as we grew up." Her hand flinched as if to reach out, but with a mighty effort it she kept from doing so. "I know it's a lot to ask, and we'd certainly pay you…"

"Maura, Maura, just slow down a minute."

Jane stared at her, gaze heavy. Inspecting. Maura could feel the heat reaching from her chest and up through her neck under the intensity. Certain Jane could see right through her flimsy excuse. But then it was gone in a flash. The mild skepticism gone, warranted confusion taking over. Jane rubbed the back of her neck a couple of times.

"You're saying you want to hire me? To build a platform where you can exchange your vows?"

"Yes, Jane. I am."

Jane leaned back, creating a few more inches of space between them. As if that were all she needed to understand the sudden, unexpected turn their conversation had taken. "That's really what this is all about?

Maura could see the disappointment on Jane's face. Could feel it deep in her chest. Disappointment and guilt and uncertainty. But she managed a nod.

"Alright." Jane agreed after a few tense moments of silence.

"Really?"

"Yeah, anything to… to help you out for your big day." She answered. And Maura couldn't help but wonder if Jane's first thoughts were something more along the lines of 'anything to spend more time together'

The small unease that had settled between them began to dissipate. The natural warmth they shared finding its way back. Until Maura's phone buzzed on the table. A text from Garrett. And once again everything faltered. She swiped it from the table and stuffed into her jacket without reading it, but she knew Jane had seen. Knew it was the thing that fully crashed reality back into them both.

Jane stood, giving a quick glance to her watch. "I really should be getting back to the store."

"Of course," Maura replied, standing to meet her.

Without realizing she took a couple of steps towards Jane, as if being pulled by unknown forces, until they were closer than they had been all day. And in that shared space, Jane found her brain failing once again. Just as it had when Maura first showed up in her store. The temporary fritz both utterly mortifying and wonderfully electrifying.

"Right," she found her voice. "So, I'll just get started on some plans and maybe we can get together next week to go over them?"

A buzz moved through Maura at the idea of seeing Jane once more. "That sounds great."

"Great." Jane stumbled a couple of steps back. Enough to break the charge between them.

Maura gave her one last smile. A goodbye grin she had seen so many times when they were younger. It left an unwelcome taste in the back of her throat as she realized it was the first time she had seen it as an adult. But she easily swallowed it down. She would see it again. Many more times if she hoped hard enough.

"Bye, Jane."

"See you soon, Maura."


	3. Chapter 3

Maura stared into the bathroom mirror. Her eyes directed to her own reflection and yet they remained unfocused. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there, only that the once cold porcelain of the sink had become warm under her palms. She leaned forward a bit, her gaze falling to the basin and gave a quick shake of her head.

Her thoughts crashed around in every direction, leaving her bouncing from one to another to another. Her engagement to Garrett. Her marriage with Jane. The upcoming wedding. The looming divorce.

They filled her head completely. Overwhelming. Drowning. Everything else fell silent for a while. Until finally the world began to creep back in. A subtle noise filtered through, mumbled and murky at first, as though she were underwater. It became louder and clearer with each call. And finally it broke through with a snap.

"Maura?" Garrett's voice was firm and a little impatient.

Startled, she straightened and turned. Garrett stood at the bathroom entry, adjusting his tie as he waited. Slowly she fully came back, her focus falling to him. "Hmm?"

"Didn't you hear me? I said your name four or five times."

"No, I'm sorry." She shook her head. "What… what is it?"

He looked at her, perplexed or concerned, she wasn't sure. Even after all the years they had been together, there were times when she felt as though they were practical strangers. The look quickly vanished.

"My work dinner -" he started again, taking a step closer. " -the big one I've been mentioning, it's this Saturday evening. We're still planning to arrive together, correct?"

"Of course," she replied quickly. A moment later her own social calendar came rushing forward. "I have my charity fundraiser earlier in the day, but then I'm yours the rest of the night."

A shadow of irritation moved over his face. His tone tried to hide it, but Maura noticed it in every word. "Right, your fundraiser."

"Garrett, it's been scheduled far longer than your dinner." She hadn't asked him if he wanted to attend, she knew he would have politely declined. It was so important to her and she only wanted people who would truly appreciate the cause to be there.

He held his hands up in surrender, before adjusting his cuff links. "I know it's just… Maura this is big for me. My bosses are expecting to meet you and practically the entire firm will be there. I just need you to promise me that we'll arrive together, and be on time, and each of us will be ready to awe everyone."

"I know it is, Garrett. And I understand. I'll be there with you, promise" Her answer felt short somehow. Sharp. Fiery. All of it coming from how business-like this whole conversation had been. How business-like their whole relationship was. How it wasn't what she'd pictured everything would be and how it had been Jane that caused her to really see everything as it was.

He gave a soft, appreciative smile, before taking the few steps to close the distance between them.

"Thank you," his words genuine, before leaning in to press a kiss to the side of her head. "I'll see you tonight."

She watched as he disappeared beyond the doorway. And as the pressure of the kiss to her skin was still fresh in her mind, she couldn't help but wonder why she thought of Jane. She attributed it the fact that she was on her way to discuss construction plans with her and not because she wondered what a kiss from Jane to the side of her head would feel like.

* * *

_21 years before_

_The gravel crunched beneath their feet as they wandered between the different bushes and shrubs of Constance's garden. Maura's eyes focused on finding the prettiest flowers for the bouquet they were making for Jane's parent's anniversary. Jane's focus split between the task at hand and any possible sight of the Isles matriarch._

_"Are you sure this is okay?" Jane asked for what felt like the dozenth time, no longer trying to mask her apprehension._

_Maura didn't look away from the rose bush she was scanning. "My mother hardly comes out here anymore and were only taking a few. No one will notice. I promise it's fine."_

_Jane just nodded, giving another sweeping look across the grounds. Word had gotten back to Constance about their little game at the gala and she hadn't been pleased. She had given stern warning to them both to be on their best behavior if they wanted to continue spending time with one another. It hadn't been the sharpness of her words or her stern glare that had frightened Jane, rather it was the threat she'd actually lose her best friend._

_Maura clipped a single rose, careful to avoid its thorns, and added it to their growing pile._

_"What else do your parents do for their anniversary?" She asked, genuinely curious._

_Her parents never did anything to celebrate theirs, at least not to her knowledge. They barely even acknowledged it. She looked over her shoulder to Jane, smiling as she watched her manage to successfully cut a flower from the middle of the bush almost out of arms reach. Jane turned towards her, a smudge of dirt across her brow. Maura chose to not say anything. It fit perfect with Jane's triumphant grin._

_"My Pop usually cooks a nice dinner," she started, tossing her own flower onto the pile. "Whatever my Ma wants, and he makes sure were on our best behavior. Usually there's dessert for all of us. Last year Ma got cannolis from Mike's. Once dinner is over we give them a gift and they exchange their own. It's simple, but they make it special._

_"My favorite part, and I think maybe theirs too, is when they finish cleaning up and they think none of us are watching, they dance in the kitchen. Sometimes my Pop just hums, but sometimes they put on a record really low. I like to watch them sway."_

_"That sounds lovely."_

_"Yeah."_

_Maura picked up flower, twisting the stem between her fingers, making the petals twirl as though they were dancing. Graceful and elegant. She looked up quickly, a bright idea sparkling in her eyes. Jane had seen that look before. The last time when she proposed they get married._

_"What?"_

_"We need a song."_

_"A song?"_

_"Yeah. Sometimes people have a song they dance to at their wedding or one that reminds them of the other person. One that's just theirs. A song that's special. We should have one." She quickly scooped up the pile between them and grabbed for Jane's hand. "Come on. I have an idea."_

_She pulled Jane back into the house, moving so fast their feet tangled up a couple of times, each of them just managing to keep their balance. Her speed didn't let up until they found themselves a room that fell somewhere between a library and gallery._

_Jane had only ever seen the space in passing. Its door was usually shut. Neither of them with any reason to really enter. But now that she stood in it, she thought it might be her favorite room in the Isles' house. Old books filled the shelves. Classic paintings hung on the wall. Without realizing she found herself in one of the corners, unable to take her eyes off the old gramophone that sat there._

_"It doesn't work," Maura said, a twinge of sadness in her words. "I asked my mother if we could fix it, but she said it was probably a lost cause. So now it's more of a decorative piece."_

_Jane nodded in understanding, but her eyes remained on the large, flaring horn. She ran her fingers over its smooth edge before gently picking up the arm and moving it as though she were about start playing a record. She wondered what was broken. Wondered if maybe she could fix it._

_"This one works though." Jane turned to find Maura lifting up the dust cover of a much more modern record player. One that from what she could tell seemed almost untouched. Maura pulled out three organized boxes of pristinely kept records. "Last year my father briefly became interested in musicology, as a hobby of sorts. It didn't last very long, work became his number one priority again, so it's not a big collection. But it spans over a number of years and quite a few artists, so there's a chance we could find a song."_

_"Yeah, maybe."_

_They worked their way through the odd collection. Immediately casting some aside, while others they played through though both of them knew they wouldn't pick a song from it. Occasionally they fell off track as they attempted to find the craziest song title or voted on the coolest album cover art. All the while keeping the music low and their laughter hushed._

_And then it found them._

_Lying against the floor, hands behind their heads, they fell quiet as it played. So simple and light and lovely. 'Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo'. Jane watched as Maura's eyes fell shut, genuine happiness making her glow. She too shut her eyes as the music wrapped around her, warm and gentle._

_"I really like this one." Maura's words were soft and thick as she came back as the song played its final few notes._

_"I do too, but…"_

_"What?"_

_Jane propped herself on her elbow, head resting in her hand. "Well, it's just… if it's supposed to be our song, like for our wedding, doesn't it have to be romantic?"_

_Maura sat up. Their faces closer than usual. A seriousness to her features as she thought it over. Brightening as her answer formed. "I don't think so. It just has to be one we both like. A song we think fits. And this one is perfect. I know it."_

_"How?"_

_"Because when I'm with you, I'm happy." A blush began to color her cheeks. "And, I don't know, I also feel warm and free and lucky. Kind of like you're the sun."_

_"You make me feel like that too, Maura."_

_They grinned wide at each other before rolling back flat against the floor, their shoulders up against one another, eyes fallen shut again. The song had finished. Music no longer filled the room. But the melody buzzed through them until they both were humming._

_'Here comes the sun. Here comes the sun.'_

* * *

Maura stood still as the bell above the door chimed above her, her heels no longer clicking against the worn wooden floor, as she let the store greet her. The place had a character like nothing she had experienced before. A warm familiarity, as though she'd been welcomed here a thousand times over. Her mind was quick to sharply remind her it had actually only been twice.

"Hello? Jane?"

A man, tall and skinny, peered from around the edge of an aisle and smiled. Again, that sense of familiarity settled heavy in her stomach. She'd seen that lopsided grin before, she just couldn't place it. He took a few steps, his brow furrowing further the closer he got.

"Maura?"

She squinted and it all came rushing back. "Tommy?"

He laughed with a nod and wrapped his long, lanky arms around her. Enveloping her in a crushing hug. Like the bear hugs he'd given when they were younger. She'd always thought he'd squeezed so hard as a kid to be mischievous. Jane and Frankie squeezed hard in fun, so he did right back. But now she wondered if that was simply his hug. Wondered if Jane's had changed any over the years.

"I knew that was you. How've ya been?"

"Really well, thank you. Very busy as of late, but good. How about yourself?"

Tommy nodded enthusiastically. "Life's good. I've got a wife and kid and another on the way. It's crazy how things turn out ain't it?"

Her smile faltered for a split second. How right he was. How crazy the past couple of weeks had been to lead her where she was. But then the grin was back.

"Do you work together with Jane?"

"No, no," he said with a couple of swift shakes of his head. "I actually have my own house painting business. I'm just helping Janie out here and there. She's got some big project she's workin' on for a customer."

Her heart soared, hoping the project was the one Jane had agreed to do for her, but then quickly sank, realizing it meant Jane probably wasn't around. Tommy noticed the subtle down turn of her lips and the soft crease that formed between her eyes. He hiked his thumb over his shoulder, gesturing to the back of the store.

"Janie's out back in the workshop. Told me to send anyone lookin' for her back there. Thought she meant customers, but now I'm thinking maybe it was intended just for you." He gave a quick wink.

Her cheeks flushed light pink. Tommy had always been good for a kind-hearted tease. She set her hand against his upper arm and gave a grateful squeeze.

"Thanks, Tommy."

"Of course, Maura. It was really great to see you. Don't be a stranger. 'Kay?"

"I won't. Promise." And as she walked out the front, she honestly hoped it was a promise she would be able to keep.

A steady thrum of buzzing power tools directed her to the back of the building. The large, worn-down wooden door, something similar to a barn door, sat propped open and she took a step inside, leaning against the wall. She stood in awe for a moment. The workshop was much larger than she realized, easily the same size as the entire hardware store at the front-half of the building. Its exposed rafters and large skylights added to the magnificence of the space. It was all she needed to know that this was Jane's sanctuary. The way their fort had been hers when they were kids.

There were so many power tools within the space. Large and small. Some of them frighteningly elaborate. Most she could only guess to what their function was. But Jane knew them all. Maura watched as she gracefully moved between a couple of them. Precisely cutting. Efficiently sanding. All of it sending sawdust into the air that eventually clung to the thin layer of sweat across the tops of her shoulders and back of her neck. The sight sent shivers up Maura's spine.

Jane stood from her hunched over position, softly blowing against the freshly cut edge of the 2-by-4 in her hand, sending more sawdust into the air. It practically created a fog, but when some of it settled and cleared, Maura found Jane's eyes locked on hers. Wide in pleasant surprise. She turned the saw off and set the piece of wood down, fumbling with both tasks in an effort to be quick. She pushed the clear, protective glasses onto the top of her head.

"Maura, hi."

"Hi, Jane."

The both stayed still. Frozen in place. Jane's eyes flickered, a mix of disbelief and merriment, as she swept them over Maura. Trailing them over the oversized sweatshirt and well-worn jeans that only Maura could make look cozy and elegant at the same time. She shook her head, her face turning light pink in embarrassment, as she realized she had been staring. Caught staring.

"Sorry," she said with another head shake, taking a few steps closer and dusting off her shoulders the best she could. "Please come on in. I apologize for the mess."

Maura began to wander, avoiding anything that looked particularly sharp, lingering in spots that seemed to be a home for a project in progress. A bookshelf freshly stripped of old lacquer, ready to be stained again. A toaster oven that had seen better days, heating coils and wires twisting in every direction. An old clawfoot tub on its way to becoming new once more.

"I see you haven't lost your touch," she said, looking up to find Jane's gaze still upon her.

Jane let out a soft laugh. "I don't think my Pop would let me even if I tried."

Maura's smile crept wider at the mention of Frank. His, sometimes gruff, guidance and the respect he showed her even as a child meant more than she had ever been able to tell him.

"Any of these your own?" Maura asked. Jane had always seemed to be tinkering with something when they were younger, she couldn't imagine that had changed over the years.

"A few." She pointed across the space. An odd looking lamp with Edison bulbs and an old ornate frame sat huddled together in mid completion.

There was a hint of pride in Jane's eyes as Maura faced her, but it was a different gleam that caught her own eye. Tucked near a back corner a reflection of light bounced off a well-polished piece of metal. She walked past Jane as if in a trance, drawn to the item she couldn't really see, half covered by a drop cloth.

Jane's throat closed as Maura pushed away the cover. Any words she wanted to say sat trapped. Unable to escape. Instead, only a soft strangled noise broke through. She reached her hand out as if it would have any chance of doing something, but it did what she should have figured. Nothing. Maura let out a small gasp, immediately looking back over her shoulder at Jane. Her eyes asked questions Jane never though she would need to answer.

Is this what I think it is? Does it play? Do you remember?

Jane walked the short distance between them and lifted the cover away, fulling revealing the old gramophone that sat beneath. She smiled fondly as she looked it over. It had been a while since she last worked on it and it seemed only fitting that Maura was the one to bring it back to memory.

"Is this yours?" Her words were soft.

"Yeah," Jane replied with a nod, running her hand over it gently. "This has been my pet project for a long while now."

"It looks like the one from when we were kids."

"It is." Maura's jaw fell slightly as she looked up wide eyed at her. She started quickly again, understanding how her words had sounded. "I mean it's the same model. It can't be the same one. I found this one at an antique shop years back."

Maura nodded without realizing, consumed by the memory of how unceremoniously her mother had gotten rid of that old gramophone years ago. Not caring about how much she cherished it, only that it didn't align with the vision of her remodel. And now, a tendril of possibility, crept to mind. Because what if.

"Does it work?"

"Not yet. I've been trying to fix it with original parts and they're harder to find than I planned. But one day."

"Well when you get it to work, maybe we can find a song on this one too."

For a moment Jane found herself unable to breathe. All of the air vanished from her lungs. No trace of any around them. And only then did she notice how close they stood to each other. How close feelings and memories she'd tried to bury over a decade ago had bubbled to the surface. But by some miracle the air came rushing back and she took in a deep breath to steady herself.

"I've got some rough sketches over here, if you want to take a look. See what you think."

Maura nodded and followed Jane over to her current work station. It took only a moment for her to pluck out the few particular pages from the scattered pile of papers. Maura took them carefully and wasn't sure what she felt as she looked them over. A confusing mixture of amazement at their elegance and an unsettling uncertainty of what they actually represented.

"I can change pretty much anything at this point if you don't like them," Jane said into the quiet.

She shook her head, her eyes never leaving the rough, penciled lines. "Jane, these are amazing." Maura ran her fingers over one in particular. An arbor looking structure. Simple and elegant.

"That's my favorite."

Maura looked up with a soft smile. "Me too."

"Great. I can get started right away then, unless… do you want to show this to uh…" Jane trailed off as she realized she'd forgotten the name of Maura's fiancé.

"Garret," she filled in.

"Right, Garrett. Want me to wait until he sees it?"

Maura looked back down at the sketch. In its perfect mess she could see exactly what Jane had envisioned. A sour taste filled her mouth as she thought of what would come if she showed it to Garrett. The critiques and doubts she would have to ease away. It would be simpler if she didn't. But it wasn't only that. If she didn't, this would just be theirs. Hers and Jane's. And that idea made thoughts of her wedding day exponentially better.

"No. It's perfect."

Maura looked up, met with silence, and caught Jane staring. Again. Jane quickly coughed and shuffled some papers around, creating a bigger mess than if she'd just left it.

"Great. That's great." She internally groaned, seemingly unable to find another word. "It should be done pretty quick. I've already started."

Jane pointed to where she had been working earlier. Maura nodded as her gaze lingered on the large saw. An idea flickered behind her eyes as she turned back to Jane.

"Do you think I could help?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I wasn't that terrible of an assistant when we were kids."

Jane laughed, choosing to not bring up that all they really did as kids were the smallest of tasks, and even then she was certain her Pop re-did everything they touched. "Sure. Of course. I'd love the help."

An expectant second passed between them before Jane seemed to realize. "Now?"

"Why not?" Maura replied with a shrug.

Their smiles grew together. Jane's eyes softened and Maura's brightened. An energy settled over them. New but familiar. A rediscovery of something unforgettable. Jane scurried across the workshop, returning with thick work gloves and some protective eye wear.

"You'll need these."

Maura pulled her hair up and slipped out of her sweatshirt before enthusiastically putting on the gear Jane had handed her. Jane could only stare. Struck by how good Maura looked. Like she belonged there.

"What?"

Jane cleared her throat and gave a quick shake of her head. "You look good."

"Why, thank you."

"Ready?"

The anticipation of working so closely made everything fuzzy. Maura only grasped the basics of what they were actually doing, having difficulties concentrating. She needed a warning label. Do not operate heavy machinery in the presence of Jane Rizzoli. It wasn't until the shock of the saw turning on that things became clear again. Her breath hitched as Jane stood close behind. Goosebumps ran up her arms as Jane guided her hands with a soft, assuring touch. Every movement showing the trust between them hadn't faded.

They sawed through the lumber. The entire time Maura was acutely aware of Jane's breath on her neck and the occasional laugh in her ear. Aware of just how wide her own smile was across her face. And then they were finished. That last piece felt heavier than the rest. And as Jane stepped back and Maura moved to the side, the heat that neither of them quite wanted to admit had built between them began to dissipate.

"That was amazing," said Maura. She could still feel the vibrations up her forearms.

"You're a natural."

Without warning, Maura brought the piece of wood still in her hand up to her mouth and gave a hard blow. But unlike the evenly distributed plume Jane had created earlier, this one sent most of the dust directly into Jane's face. Shocked, Jane took a sharp gasp in, making her cough then laugh then cough some more.

Maura's face went bright red as she frantically apologized. "Jane, I'm so sorry. Oh goodness. Really I'm sorry. Here let me help you." Maura tried to brush some from her hair without much success.

They both wiped at her squeezed-shut eyes until finally she could open them. Everything stood still for a moment as Maura ran a light finger across the top of Jane's cheek. It broke quickly as Maura began to laugh. Jane reached for a rag and gave a better swipe over her face.

"I can't believe you did that." Her words were light and joking.

"I'm sorry. I saw you do it earlier and it was lovely, but apparently there's a finesse about it."

They stared at each other a moment longer before the both of them completely lost it. Laughing so hard their stomachs hurt. Almost like it had been when they were kids. Almost.

"Can I help clean anything up?" Maura asked after they finally settled.

Jane shook her head. "Nah, I've got some other work to finish up first, so I'll take care of it."

"Well, thank you for a fun afternoon." Jane nodded back.

A chime went off signaling the top of the hour. It was only then that either of them realized how fast time slipped by. Thoughts of goodbye began to fill her head, sharply interrupted by something else entirely.

"Could I ask you something?"

"Sure."

She stuffed her hands in her pockets, as unexpected nerves fluttered in her chest. "I know it's short notice, and you probably have plans, but would you consider coming to a fundraiser with me this Saturday?"

Jane narrowed her eyes playfully. "Do I need to wear a dress?"

Maura laughed. Memories came to mind of how much Jane avoided them when they were young. How she had refused to wear one even for their wedding.

"Still hate them?"

"I think the hate has only grown stronger as I've gotten older."

"I promise, nothing formal. No dresses. Nothing fancy. Just jeans and a t-shirt."

"What kind of fundraiser is this?" Her eyes narrowed in general confusion and curiosity.

Maura smiled. "One that I believe you will quite enjoy."

Jane took a step closer and crossed her arms, leaning against the workbench. "But you're not going to tell me what the event is exactly?"

"No," she crossed her arms as well, unspoken banter flowing between them. "I believe I'll keep that a secret. So?"

"I'd love to accompany you." And she was sure she would never let Maura know, but had a formal dress been required, she still would have agreed to go with her.

"Thank you, thank you," she exclaimed. Jane's chest bloomed. There had always been something so magical about making Maura as happy as she was then. "I'll pick you up here. 10:30 sharp."

"Sounds good."

They said quick goodbyes. And as Maura walked out, Jane couldn't be sure but she thought she heard humming. Her favorite Beatles song. 'It felt like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun'.

* * *

So, here's a strange little story: The ideas for this chapter have been planned for a while. So with everything outlined I started writing and took a little break one day to watch Amazing Stories on Apple TV. Well, the first episode had Sasha Alexander and a gramophone in it and it was the weirdest feeling of deja vu and coincidence. Like what are the freaking chances! Anyway, I appreciate all of you so much! Hope you enjoyed.


	4. Chapter 4

_21 years before_

_She tried mightily to keep at his heels as they moved through the house. Her feet scurried twice as fast to match with his much longer strides. Yet even with the threat of tripping over herself, Maura kept her head high, chest slightly puffed, walking just as he did. A sense of pride sat warm over her heart from all the two of them had accomplished that morning. Her disappointment from earlier, when he explained that Jane hadn't been able to come over like planned, all but forgotten. It had been since he told her she could be his apprentice while he worked. _

_Frank glanced down as they walked and smiled at Maura's determined look. It didn't take much to understand why she and his daughter got along like they did. Although Maura presented herself in a manner a little more reserved, they both had an identical bright spark nestled within. They made a short pit-stop in the mud room where he'd left a couple of screws in his coat pocket. He tossed them lightly in his hand and smiled._

"_Well, Miss Isles, the only thing left is to swap out that jammed door knob upstairs. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" She shrugged her shoulders and he laughed. They both knew the answer. Who was responsible. "Didn't think so. But once that is done, I'll be on my way and you can have the rest of your Saturday to yourself."_

_A heaviness settled in the pit of his stomach as he watched Maura force a smile to her face. How many times had he seen that same look whenever he called Jane so they could go home. He understood what that smile tried to cover. The loneliness she faced once she was with only her parents and other household staff. He gave her a wink, in hopes of erasing some of that hidden pain, and grabbed his box as they both made their way to the stairs._

_They stayed silent all the way up and onto the landing, before Maura gently tapped his arm. She held out her hand expectantly, waiting to take over her role, and Frank gave an understanding nod while handing over the toolbox. He kneeled in front of the door, giving it one quick look over, but before he could say anything another tap fell against his shoulder. This time Maura held out the Philip's head screwdriver he was about to ask for._

"_Thank you," he said, taking the tool and turning back towards the door. "I'm sure you would of rather had Janie here with you, and I can assure you she wished she were here now too, but I must say I appreciate the help. You know, Janie thinks she's going to join me when she's older, but I don't know. Maybe I should save that spot for you."_

_Maura stood there stunned for a second. Not just by the kindness of the offer that came from the gruff voice in front of her, but also because as far as she was aware, only Rizzoli's were allowed to help Mr. Rizzoli with the business. Jane had told her of cousins and second uncles and she, Frankie, and Tommy. But never anyone that wasn't blood._

"_But, I… I'm not…"_

_He paused, looking over his shoulder, and as if knowing exactly what was running through her head, Frank said the one thing that cast it all aside._

"_You're family, kid." He gave another quick wink as assurance and pointed to the box beside her. "Can you toss me that rag?"_

_She held out the old cloth, marked with a variety of black stains, an urge slowly building within. Jane had once told her about the gift her father held. How the man could make people spill all that was rolling around in their heads. She mentioned how many times he had done the trick on her and Frankie and Tommy. How they told him everything. Good and bad._

_And standing there with him, his kind words still wrapped around her, she too felt the spell. The mention of family and thoughts of Jane and the fact she hadn't told anyone else of their plan. All of it built. Strong and unrelenting. Until finally the words tumbled out._

"_We're going to get married."_

_Frank kept his focus forward, but gave an acknowledging nod. His words came out in a confused grumble. "Who's that?"_

"_Me and Jane. We're marrying each other."_

_This time he stopped and turned. In his kneeled position, the two of them came almost eye to eye, and it didn't take him but a moment to see the earnest excitement sparkling in Maura's. He gave an amused grin._

"_Is that so?"_

_She nodded back. The blush on her cheeks slowly fading._

"_I see," he continued. "May I ask when this is happening?"_

"_Soon," she answered. Her stomach fluttered. Partly because of the nerves that came with telling him. Partly in anticipation of getting to marry her best friend. "Once we have all of the plans made and fill out our paperwork, then we're going to have our wedding."_

"_Is anyone going to be invited?"_

_Maura paused as the question rolled around in search of an answer. They hadn't talked about that possibility. Everything up until then had been contained to just their own bubble. It had all built around their friendship. Around their desire to always have one another. No one else really mattered. And so eventually the answer was found. _

"_I don't think so." She gave a soft shake of her head. An idea came to her and she continued. "But maybe we can have another ceremony when were older. After we've been married for a little while. You can come to that one if you want."_

_His whole face softened. Hope curved his smile wide and gave crinkles to his eyes. He could hope for what Maura just said. He'd seen things like this before. Childhood sweethearts that lasted for the ages. And maybe this was meant to be their story as well. For his kids to be happy would be a dream come true. He cleared his throat, followed by an amused chuckle._

"_Well, if that's the case, c'mon then." He held the screwdriver out for Maura to take. "Let's teach you how to do this. My daughter can't marry someone that doesn't know how to fix a busted doorknob."_

_She gladly took the tool in hand and listened as he guided her movements. Each time he praised her as a natural her body buzzed. Even after they were done and Frank had left, the vibrations stayed because soon he and Jane and the rest of the Rizzoli's really would be her family. And that, with Jane, was all she really wanted her life to be._

* * *

She remained in the car as the seconds built between then and when Maura had parked. Her mind raced through things, both things she knew and things she didn't. The things Jane knew consisted of: Maura had exited the car already and was waiting on the sidewalk for her, they had parked on a street she had familiarized herself with early in life, just outside one of the few places that never failed to get her heart beating quick and fast, and that she was still inside Maura's car, frozen with anticipation and disbelief. The things Jane didn't know: the exact plan or location of the fundraiser and that she was still inside of Maura's car, frozen with anticipation and disbelief.

Finally, with a will she didn't know her limbs possessed, she climbed out and shut the door softly. Her eyes scanned everything around them. The nearby bars, the banners that hung from lamp-posts, the muted green and bright red that came with being near Fenway. Her giddiness cloaked every like thick fog, jumbling every coherent thought together, until she met eyes with Maura and found herself center once again.

"Maura?" There was a pleading in her voice. A tone that begged Maura to tell her she wasn't dreaming.

"Yes, Jane?" A soft tease traced over the way Maura spoke Jane's name and goosebumps raced over Jane's arms, up her neck and to the base of her skull.

She gave one more scan over the area. She hadn't been there in ages. Life had gotten in the way. And now she couldn't imagine a better way than with Maura. Her words tripped clumsily as they fell from her tongue, not quite certain what she was trying to say. "This… this is… I know you said no questions in the car, but please just answer this one. Are we going to Fenway?"

A triumphant smirk leapt to her face. She gave a quick wink that left butterflies in both their stomachs. "I told you you'd like it."

A soft blush settled atop Jane's cheeks and the words tumbled out before she could stop them. "I could kiss you right now." The color on her face only grew deeper and she stammered until she found a reply that somewhat tried to clean up the mess she made. "I mean obviously I wouldn't, but…"

Much to her relief, Maura let the comment slide and they fell into a comfortable quiet. One where the occasional shoulder bump and grazing of fingers did all the talking necessary. It carried on until the small touches and subtle skims across the other's skin weren't enough. Jane chanced a quick look over to Maura, eyeing her soft t-shirt and worn jeans, before looking back down to her own attire. The simplicity, everyday-ness, to how they were just then, enough to wrap her in a comfort she hadn't felt since they were kids. She let out a soft laugh and Maura turned to catch her with a wide grin.

"What?"

"I know I haven't been any charity fundraisers in my life, well aside from the ones we snuck around when we were kids, but a ballpark in jeans seems pretty relaxed."

Maura's grin matched her own and she nodded. "Normally you'd be right, however, this is more for the kids. Something for them to get to know me and some of the staff and fellow scholarship recipients. So they know they have a network of people behind them that are there to support them through their journey to becoming doctors. That's all I want. For them to know they are supported."

Jane watched as a glimmer of longing flashed in Maura's eyes. An unspoken wish that she had been shown some of the same support when she had been going through medical school. She could only imagine how cold Constance could be if you went against her wishes. And she had the heartbreaking suspicion that Maura becoming a doctor rather than a socialite Constance could control had resulted in just that.

"I'm sure they do, Maura." She pushed her hands into her pockets, her head dropped, watching the cracks in the pavement pass by with each step.

Maura glanced back over to Jane to find her eyes focused elsewhere. The realization brought with it a rush of honesty and boldness, and a flurry of words.

"My mother and Garrett don't really understand my passion behind this charity. Or why I'm always involved and hands-on with every little detail. It's going to sound silly, but with each fundraiser and event and scholarship ceremony, I guess I just hope that one day they'll be proud."

Jane swallowed hard. "For what it's worth, I am. Proud of you."

"That means a lot, Jane. Really, it does."

They smiled softly at one another. Their shoulders casually bumping once more.

"Although," Jane started again. "Not quite as proud of you as when you put that fake stain on your mother's 'priceless' rug. Do you remember that? The one in the study?"

She let out a full laugh. "Of course I do. She was horrified until she realized it wasn't actually ruined."

"Yeah," Jane half sighed, both of them already reminiscing on those cherished memories.

They walked past the front gates to a small side entry where a single guard sat waiting, seemingly just for their arrival. He lead them through a few narrow corridors, making sure to mention when they were underneath the Green Monster, and though it was a little dark, Maura saw Jane's eyes light up at the comment. Finally the three of them stopped, pausing for what Maura could only infer was for dramatic effect, before he pushed it open and they found themselves on the dirt warning track in center field.

There were people in the stands by home plate and a few athletes tossing a ball around and signing autographs. All of them contributing to the laughs and yells and cheers wafting through the park, and yet Jane didn't hear a sound. Everything had fallen silent as she absorbed the utterly absurd fact that she was actually on the field of Fenway Park. That she was there because of Maura. Because Maura knew her so well. Because that special bond that had faded over the years was still as strong as ever. She only came to after the guard told them they could move a little further in if they wanted, and so she and Maura walked side by side onto the grass, eventually coming to a stop.

"This is unbelievable."

Maura looked up to Jane, her eyes still drinking in the unique vantage point, and as she did, Maura was sure she had never felt such pure joy before. Looking at an awe-struck Jane.

"I can't imagine sharing this with anyone else."

Jane turned to Maura and stared. Her eyes were somehow wide, though she squinted in the bright sun. A flicker of amazement sat deep within them. Maura shivered as she recognized the look of wonder was directed towards her and not just their surroundings. Jane dropped her gaze a moment later, letting it fall to their dangling arms, and without a moment of hesitation took Maura's hand in hers. Both of them stood surprised for the moment, but didn't let go, and so they simply stood there. Hand in hand.

They both looked out towards home plate and a smile crept to Jane's face, full and wide and causing dimples to appear on her cheeks.

"Do you remember when we got married as kids?"

A coldness ran over her, paralyzing her with a fear like nothing she'd felt before. A fear that this was the moment Jane found out about it all. About everything she had kept hidden. About everything they still were but couldn't be for much longer. That it was the moment everything came crumbling down.

Jane shifted her gaze at Maura's silence. The expression she found, one of confusion and concern, was interpreted for something entirely else than what Maura had running in her head. Mistaken for befuddlement due to forgotten memories.

"You don't remember that?" She half joked.

Maura finally shook free. "Of course I do. You don't marry your best friend every day, right?"

Jane laughed with a nod, unconsciously giving a soft squeeze to their still intertwined hands. A wistful look to her eye as snippets of the past came to mind. Finding home again. "Did I ever tell you my original plan for that wedding? Right after you proposed in that ramshackle fort?"

"No. But now you have to."

"Ten year old me wanted our wedding to be here. Standing on home plate and wearing jerseys of our favorite Sox players. And we would have sung 'Sweet Caroline' at the top of our lungs." She shook her head at the impracticality of it all, a twinge of embarrassment rising like heat up her neck. But through the sudden self-consciousness, Maura picked up on something else, yearning perhaps, piquing her curiosity.

"Do you… do you regret that little wedding?"

"What? No, no of course not. It was perfect. Really it was." Her voice trailed off, the last word coming out as a whisper. "Perfect."

Once again, everything fell quiet around them. Each only aware of the other. Of the suddenly shallow breaths and soft, nostalgic eyes, and weak, but warm, grins. Both fully aware that they were sharing a moment. One that perhaps they shouldn't, but couldn't stop from happening. It broke suddenly with a call from behind them.

"Miss Isles," the security guard that had lead them onto the field shouted her name. He gave a small shake of the walkie-talkie in his hand. "They're calling for you."

"Of course. We'll be right there."

Their hands fell apart from the other's warm comfort. Jane instantly tucked hers in her jean pockets as she gave a little shrug. Maura returned an attempt at a smile. But it wasn't quite the same as moments before. The fragment they both built within their minds, a dream of something else, of a different time and story, shattered into a million pieces that they were each trying to ignore.

Jane watched from just off to the side as Maura mingled between donors and staff and scholarship recipients. Every so often Maura would look over, a subtle glance shared only by them. Every so often Jane was mesmerized by her kindness and intelligence and overall goodness. And equally every so often, as Maura shook someone's hand or gave a light hug, the quick flash of her engagement ring reminded her of their current reality.

Eventually they found their seats and the friendly game began. Though they initially cheered and watched, after a while it fell to the background. Jane listened as Maura told her more about what the charity actually did. Jane caught Maura up on Frankie and Tommy and anything else Rizzoli. The game finished quicker than either of them wanted. But like the rest of the attendees, they too made their way up to the concourse and away from the field. Away from where all the magic of the day seemed to lie.

They stopped near a shuttered concession stand and Maura quickly scanned the thinning crowd, pinpointing little things that required her attention. "There are a few things I need wrap up here, but if you wouldn't mind waiting, we could get a drink if you'd like."

"Yeah, I'd love t…" A buzzing in her pocket paused her answer. She gave an apologetic wince as she held the phone up and gave it a quick shake. "Sorry, just give me one minute."

Maura nodded, watching as Jane turned and took a few steps away.

"Hey Frankie, can I call you ba…" Again she stopped mid-sentence. Her face fell as he continued to speak on the other end of the line. "Alright… yeah, I'll be there… no, I'm not at the store… just give me a bit, I'll be there."

The sudden, small tremors in her hand made it difficult for her to shove the phone back into her pocket. Slowly she turned back, her eyes wider, more frantic than Maura had ever seen. And Maura's stomach dropped.

"Something just came up and… and I have to go."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah." Jane's voice shook slightly, leaving Maura unconvinced and worrying even harder. She began to walk backwards towards the exit. "Thank you for today. I had a great time. We'll talk soon."

Maura watched as Jane picked up her pace, moving from a hurried walk to a light jog, before she vanished.

* * *

She stood at the door, her eyes bouncing between the small room's two occupants, Jane to Frank back to Jane. Every flicker back and forth only compounded everything she was feeling. Fright and uncertainty and even some relief at seeing Jane steady and Frank stable. She took a couple of steps forward, able to see that Frank was asleep, and so she turned her focus to her best friend.

"Jane?" she whispered

Jane looked up. Her eyes looked as though they were at the beginning stages of becoming hollow. Dark and slightly sunken. Nothing like how bright they had been just hours earlier. She stood slowly from the worn loveseat pushed away in the corner and Maura could just how much mental energy it was taking for Jane to process she was actually there.

"Maura?"

She walked to the edge of the hospital bed, her eyes wide and soft, as she tried to flood her with a steady stream of reassurance and hope. How many times had Jane given her the same look when they were younger. To say she was there for her.

"I hope it's alright that I'm here," she said as Jane stopped before her, both standing closer than they first realized, each silently blaming the small room, but neither making any move to give more space between them. Maura softly cleared her throat. " You scared me when you left, so I called Tommy to check up and he said you were here and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay."

"Of course it's alright." Jane placed her hand light atop Maura's forearm. A light shock raced through them both. Simple static electricity. And yet it didn't feel simple at all. "I'm really glad to see you."

A shiver shot down her arm, giving a small spasm that caused the two of them to pull away. Maura turned to the man in the bed. Her eyes flickered over him and all the IVs and sensors that wound around him.

"How is he?"

"He's good. Told me he wanted a cheeseburger earlier, so I'd say pretty much himself."

"I'm so glad to hear that."

A gentle grin appeared on Maura's face the longer she stared at him. Her concern for him poured from her in every way possible. The quiver of worry to her voice. Her nervous but hopeful watch. The way she relaxed just a touch once Jane had told her he was going to be okay. He had been more of a father to her than her own. There was never any question. And that bond was still evident. Still so cherished.

She turned back to Jane and was met with a warm, appreciative smile.

"It means a lot that you're here. Really, Maura. I can't even…" Jane trailed off with a shake of her head.

Maura reached for her hand, her palm pressed against the tops of Jane's knuckles, and squeezed. Jane gave a quick squeeze back, light and lingering, before they dropped away once more.

"He's going to love to see you. I mean if you want to stick around. I'm not sure when he'll be awake again though, so it may be a while, which you definitely don't need to…"

"Jane," she paused her rambling. "I'm not going anywhere."

Jane nodded back and gestured to the small half-couch Maura had found her on earlier. They sat snuggly close, shoulders and thighs pressed against one another in order to fit. Each of them acutely aware how stiff the other one was. All the touches they'd shared during the day suddenly felt like possible oversteps they didn't want to repeat. But the hesitation washed away as a yawn swept over Maura and she let her head fall to Jane's shoulder.

Maura felt Jane relax underneath her. Jane could have sworn she felt Maura nestle a little closer. They both began to drift when a question came to mind. Something unimportant and that she didn't need to ask, but that gave her an excuse to keep their conversation going. Even if just for a few moments longer.

"Maura?" Jane whispered.

"Yes?" She whispered back.

"How did you manage to get in here?"

"What?"

"I just mean… I had to put up a fight with the staff to stay to stay here overnight. How did you convince them to let you stay?"

Thoughts of earlier raced to mind. How she too had been met with resistance, given a quick rehearsed line about visiting hours and family only, before the nurse spilled they were making an exception letting Jane stay and that she had to have a very good reason to join them. And then how the words tumbled from her mouth, somehow both the truth and a lie, but enough to let her through.

"I told them that I was your wife."

This time the words didn't come out as easy. The weight of all they actually meant for her and Jane filled her whole body. And for the second time that day, she wondered if this was the moment when it all came out. But then she felt the vibrations, like a warm buzz, move from deep in Jane's chest up to the low laugh that sprung free.

"Maura Isles, have you learned to lie after all these years?" Jane joked.

She smiled into her shoulder as the worry melted away. "I'm not going to answer that," she quipped back.

"Fair enough."

They fell back into silence. Both tired, yet energized. And as they slid once again towards sleep, with certainty Jane felt Maura nestle a little further into her side.

Maura slowly stirred awake a few hours later. Early rays of sunlight seeped through the half-drawn blinds. The steady rhythmic beeping and light hum from monitors and machines were soothing. She shifted as her eyes blinked open, only then realizing how she had fallen even further into Jane during the night. Tucked under her arm. Head upon her shoulder. Jane's jacket draped over her.

A hint of a smile curled at the corner of her lips as she took in a deep breath. The now familiar scent of lumber, metal, and laundry detergent filled her lungs and crept across her limbs. Almost washing away the dull aches that came from sleeping in such an awkward position.

Carefully she pulled away, almost instantly wishing she hadn't as the warmth of their mingled bodies dissipated. Jane's head lolled a little as it hung forward, chin against her chest, but the steady rhythm of her breaths told Maura she hadn't woken. She draped the jacket as best she could across her chest and stood, slowly taking a few short strides across the room to stretch.

She stopped near the head of the bed, her eyes glancing over charts and vitals. She hadn't truly realized how much she missed medicine until then. How much she truly missed the freedom she had felt these last few weeks. The wonder of what could have been crashed over her, leaving her lost to the world for a few moments until the call of her name pulled her back.

"Maura?"

"Mr. Rizzoli," she replied, slightly shocked.

"I thought that was you." His voice became smoother with each word as the thickness of sleep fell away, but still there was a hint of the gruffness she'd known so well as a child. "And please, call me Frank."

Maura nodded. Without thinking, she dropped her fingers into his calloused palm, and was slightly surprised when he gently squeezed back. And for a brief moment, that small, simple gesture felt as though she were being welcomed back. Back home. Back to where she belonged.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything? I can get a nurse…"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he cut in. His eyes, though they held more creases around their edges, were still just as warm as she remembered as he stared at her a few moments. Slowly his head began to shake side to side and a soft grin appeared. "It's been such a long time. It's wonderful to see you."

"It's great to see you too, Frank." The words didn't feel like enough. Because it was so much more than just great. It was more than she could begin to describe. "Although, I wish it were under better circumstances."

He nodded in agreement. "Yeah, this really isn't the best place for a reunion, is it?"

She smiled at the lightheartedness to his words. His spirits had clearly been unaffected by this minor scare. But he was right. There were so many other places she would rather have seen him again.

"I'm really sorry for ruining your date." Her confusion muddled any other thoughts of reunions as she tried to comprehend what he meant. Her brows furrowed the more she tried to make sense of it. "Yesterday. Weren't you and Janie doing something together. It was all she'd been talking about leading up to it."

Maura's mouth fell open a little, her head tilting without her realizing. And though she went to speak, her brain and mouth refused to cooperate with one another. Until finally she forced herself to say something. All of it coming out in a stammer. "Oh, right. Well…"

A groan from behind her stopped the sputtering. Maura's shoulders eased away from her ears, the tension and tightness that appeared with Frank's statement disappearing at the sound of Jane rustling behind her .

"It wasn't a date, Pop. How many times do I have to tell you that?" Maura noticed a hint of annoyance in Jane's tone, from her father or just waking up, she wasn't sure. But it was gone by the time she turned to face her, greeted by a groggy smile and unruly curls.

"Good morning," Maura managed.

Jane moved to stand next to her. The groggy smile brightened the closer she came. "You're still here."

"Of course."

Once again, just as yesterday, they let themselves be swept into a moment. One rooted in the deep appreciation for one another. Jane was grateful Maura stayed. Maura was grateful Jane made her feel as though she could. That they both wanted to be there. Together. And once again the bubble was popped too quickly.

"Well," Frank broke the growing silence. "Then how was your not-date?"

Maura turned quickly back to him, a soft tint along the tops of her cheeks as though she had just been caught. Jane cleared her throat behind her. Both answered at the same time.

"It was good."

"We had a lovely time."

Maura dropped her head for a brief moment as the blush grew, missing the look Frank shot Jane. One that caused Jane's own cheeks to redden. One that said he saw a lot more than either of them were willing to admit.

"You know," Maura started, looking up to them both. "I should really get going. I'm sure Garrett's wondering where I've been."

"Right," Jane said, biting down on the inside of her cheek at the mention of her fiancé. "Let me walk you out."

"No, no. You stay here with your father." She turned back to Frank. "It was great to see you, Frank. Feel better soon."

"I'll do my best." He gave a soft tug to her hand and she leaned in closer. His next words so soft only they two of them could hear. "After all, I've got to be healthy for that wedding you promised I could attend all those years ago."

Her face blanched and she practically choked as she stood straight again. She had forgotten about that conversation. How had she forgotten? A knot twisted in her stomach. Because now she actually could invite him to a wedding. Just not the one he was thinking.

She recovered quickly, giving a squeeze to his hand one last time. Jane gave them a questioning stare, but she stepped past her, moving for her bag, and the questions fell away. Jane followed her to the door. Maura wished she were a slow walker as she felt the heat from Jane's hand hovering, but not touching, at her lower back. But they were at the hall in a blink.

"Bye, Jane."

"Bye."

Jane stood at the door and watched until she disappeared into the elevator down the hall. And even after she was gone, Jane remained frozen in place, as logical thoughts and confusing emotions fought within. Her head and heart pulled in opposite directions. Until finally there was a winner. And not by the one she particularly wanted.

She shook her head and sighed. The reality and truth and logic attempting to set her straight. She was the best friend. The past. The trial run. Nothing more. No matter what she wanted or hoped.

His eyes were on her the moment she walked back into the room. More than just normal observation. No. She has had plenty of exposure to the gaze currently falling heavy upon her. Years and years of it. And after a few moments of attempting to ignore it, she finally faced it.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You can't 'nothing' me. You have the look."

His eyebrows scrunched together. "What look?"

"The one you get when you really want to say something, but aren't sure if you should. That one."

He remained quiet. And the longer they stared, the more she realized she knew exactly what was on his mind.

"Actually," she corrected herself. "Don't say it. I don't want to hear it, Pop."

"You don't have any idea what I'm going to say."

"Yes, I do. I know exactly what's running around up there."

Frank folded his arms across his chest in a challenge. One he knew his daughter couldn't resist. That shouted 'prove it!' without making a sound. And though she knew he was baiting her, Jane decided to continue, with narrowed eyes and a half smirk.

"It's about Maura. About how it was so great to see her and how she's still as lovely as she was back when we were kids. And that the way we were with each other just now was like no time had passed at all. Because we were inseparable back then and you can see that our bond is still there, just as strong.

"And then you'd say something like how you maybe pictured us becoming something more that just best friends because you could see so much of the magic you had with Ma flowing between the two of us. And that's not something that comes around often. That's what you'd try and tell me. Am I close?"

"Okay, so maybe you know me pretty well."

Jane laughed and tossed her jacket over her shoulders.

"You know what else I know? She's engaged."

"So?" He said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"So?!" She let out a heavy sigh, running her hand through her hair. "Pop, she's getting married in a few months."

"Which means that everything is just a plan. And let me tell you Janie, plans change."

Her eyes half-glazed over as she became lost in thought. The fighting of heart and head resumed again. But she was faster this time and pulled herself away before it got too far. Before there was a chance her father's words could sway a victory for the side she was truly rooting for. She shook her head and focused on him again. Her eyes were sharper and mouth a bit more stern.

"Not with Maura. Not with something this big."

He stared for a while. Soft and gentle against her brave and stoic. He understood where that stubbornness came from. Where the need to protect herself despite what she really wanted was rooted. And usually he was proud of her ability to hold her composure. But now, with Maura, he wished she wouldn't. Eventually he gave a small, half-hearted shrug.

"Fine. Fine."

"I'm going to get a coffee. I can try to sneak one up here for you if you want."

"That would be great."

He closed his eyes after she left, making a silent promise to himself not to say anything more on the subject. But as more thoughts weaved their way through his mind, he couldn't help the smile that also crept across his face at the thought. His Janie and Maura. Together again.

* * *

Maura stood in the foyer, unable to move any further. The entire 24 hours had crashed into her with a force and left her feeling heavy. Her clothes were suddenly made of lead. Her mind had become a thick sludge she couldn't wade through. Her eyes fell shut and she tilted her head back, raising it to the ceiling, as she breathed slow and steady, eventually beginning to ease away. The moment of peace and clarity was brief, as Garrett came racing in from a different room.

"Maura?" He pulled her in for a hasty hug and kept his hands on her shoulders as he took a step back. His touch not quite as gentle or electric as Jane's. "Where have you been? I tried calling, multiple times actually, and it went straight to voicemail."

"My phone died."

"Where were you?" He asked again, his tone not simply of concern. No. She recognized the hint of annoyance that weaved within his question. "Do you realize what you missed last night?"

Slowly the wheels and cogs in her brain began to turn, sifting through her internal calendar, trying to remember before eventually she figured it out. She set her hand atop his. Her eyes softened with guilt.

"Your dinner. I'm sorry Garrett."

His hands slipped from her shoulders as he dropped his head and stepped back even further, leaving a few feet between them. He shook his head a couple of times before he looked back up, his eyes a mix of confusion and offense.

"I don't understand, Maura. You knew how important that dinner was for me. You gave me your word that you'd be there. Do you know how many questions I had to field about why my fiancée wasn't there with me? Things like this can't happen once we're married. What happened?"

The day flashed like rapid fire through her mind. Quick and unrelenting. Most of them focused on the small and insignificant moments between her and Jane that had steadily built to more. All of it cumulating in something she knew he wouldn't understand if she told him. Not when she had missed something so important to him. So she kept it vague and short.

"A friend of mine had a medical emergency. I was at the hospital all night."

"Oh." His voice softened. "Are they alright?"

"They'll be fine."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that." His bristliness disappeared. Replaced with his normal proper and semi-cold disposition. "There's still some coffee in the French press if you want. Just made so it should still be warm."

"Thank you."

They both stood silent, wondering if the other was going to say anything further. And when neither of them did, Garrett pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead and left towards his office. Eventually the faint smell of the coffee he'd promised drew her into the kitchen. Each sip, warm and bitter, felt like a small cure for the complicated mess her life had suddenly become. By the time she reached the bottom of her cup, the coffee had done its job.

As she set the cup in the sink her phone buzzed in her pocket with a text from one of the staff from the charity. A link to the cloud where a folder of the photographs taken at the game sat newly created. She hired photographers for every event. Her mother made it known how tacky she thought it was, but she liked the idea of capturing memories for everyone that attended.

She scrolled through them, lingering every once so often when a picture was especially joyous, before moving on. Until she came across one she thought she might look at forever. One of her and Jane. Candid and perfect. Her hand was extended, clearly pointing to something happening on the field, while Jane simply stared at her. Her breath hitched the longer she looked at it. Because she wasn't sure anyone had ever looked at her the way Jane was in that captured moment.

And for a brief second she couldn't help but think that perhaps this was definite proof. Proof that everything that had been buzzing between them wasn't simply a figment of her imagination.


	5. Chapter 5

_21 years before_

_"I think we should fill this out."_

_Jane stopped her fuddling with the broken wrench her father had challenged her to fix and leaned over to look closer._

_"What is it?"_

_"It's a marriage application form. People fill it out before their wedding so they're allowed to get married."_

_"Okay," Jane agreed with a soft shrug. Maura, giddy excitement, clumsily scooted her kitchen stool closer to Jane's. Her upper body lunging haphazardly to get the momentum necessary for it to scrape across the floor in short spurts. The pen twirled between her fingers. Both of their legs swung from their seats at the large kitchen island. She scanned over the document once more and gave an understanding nod as she identified all the information they needed to fill in._

_"I'll be Spouse A," she stated, starting to scribble in her answers as she read the form aloud. "Name – Maura Dorothea Isles. Date of birth – August 7th…"_

_Jane followed along for a little while before turning back to the broken tool in her hands, but still listening as Maura continued to read the rest of the questions and her corresponding information._

_"Okay, your turn. Spouse B. Name – "_

_Jane turned her head and gave her a look. Something toeing the line of a sarcastic deadpan, because they both knew that Maura could probably answer all of Jane's information better than Jane could. Maura shot back a look of her own. One she had come to master when it came to convincing Jane. A friendly challenge that almost always ended in her favor. And after a brief standoff, they both smiled widely as Jane gave in._

_"Jane Rizzoli."_

_"No, your full name."_

_She leaned in closer, almost hovering over the sheet to read the small box herself, confused by Maura's clarification. "That's it. Jane Rizzoli."_

_"What about your middle name?" Maura tapped at the box labeled 'Middle'._

_Jane flinched. As if the paper in front of them lunged at her, trying to pull the information from her. "I don't have one."_

_"Yes you do," Maura challenged. "I know you do."_

_"No, I don't."_

_"Why won't you tell me what it is?" she asked, her question completely ignoring Jane's previous statement._

_"Because it's embarrassing, Maura." Jane dropped her forehead down to the backs of her hands, propped like a small pillow on the cold marble._

_"It can't be that bad."_

_A small whine escaped from her chest. And she gave a muffled answer. "But it is."_

_Maura stayed quiet, watching as Jane finally looked up to meet her gaze. Her eyes had gone soft as they held an understanding within them. A clear sense of trust Jane recognized she didn't hold with anyone else. And quickly her reservations came crumbling down._

_"Fine I'll tell you. But, you can't tell anyone."_

_"I promise."_

_"I mean it, Maura. If you repeat this to anyone, or even say this name out loud, I will never speak to you again."_

_Maura nodded, running her pinched fingers across her lips as if zipping them shut, something Jane had taught her._

_"It's… it's Clementine," she whispered. As hard as she tried, Maura couldn't hide the amused grin that slowly spread across her face. It was teasing and light, the way many of their conversations were, and Jane countered with a soft, equally playful, pout. "Don't smile Maura. Don't. Just write it down."_

_Maura's eyes glinted with one final mischievously teasing spark. It's brightness enough to tint Jane's cheeks pink and force a wide grin to her face. An expression that remained as they continued to fill out the rest of the form with her information._

_"There. All finished." She set the pen down in triumph and looked to Jane with a proud grin._

_"Now what do we do with it?"_

_"Well, normally you mail it in for approval, but…" she started, recalling as she spoke how a few weeks prior she realized how true one of Jane's initial objections actually was. There was no way they would ever be allowed to officially be married given their ages. There was no loophole to be discovered. The only thing left that could possibly happen was through a clerical error, and though they happened more frequently than realized, it was still slim chances._

_It only took a second after Maura had trailed off for Jane to follow Maura's wandering thoughts. To see just how much Maura wanted this to be as close to real as possible. To create that unbreakable bond and be family like they already considered themselves to be. She leaned over, giving her a soft shoulder bump with her own._

_"Even if we don't mail it, we could still put it in an envelope if you want. Make it as official as possible," she suggested, earning a soft nod and grateful smile._

_They both sprinted to her Father's study in a friendly race, Maura to grab an envelope, Jane to find a stamp. The small competition just another thing Maura had come to look forward to whenever she was with Jane or any of the Rizzoli clan. They both reached the counter at about the same time, agreeing that this time it was a tie. And just as Maura began writing the address across the front, they both froze. Constance's distinctly clicking heels carried down the hall, striking a small amount of fear in them both._

_"Maura, your mother is coming," Jane said in a hurried and panicked whisper. Her head bounced back and forth, looking at how close Maura was to being done and over her shoulder to determine how close the Isles' matriarch was. Her concern growing with each passing second. "Maura, hurry."_

_Maura finished her scribbling and quickly licked the envelope, sealing it shut as they slipped off their stools and raced through the door into the backyard. The stamped and addressed envelope left as a potential casualty on the kitchen counter. Better it than either of them._

_Constance walked into the room moments later, completely unaware of the girls' presence just seconds earlier, her thoughts in a thousand other places. Without paying mind, she tossed her own stack of letters atop the one left behind, creating a messy pile that was now someone else's problem besides her own. She gave a quick glance to the empty kitchen and let out a frustrated huff, clearly expecting her staff to already be anticipating her needs and annoyed they were not._

_"Vincent!" she yelled louder than necessary._

_Vince briskly walked into the kitchen a moment later. And not waiting another beat, she started giving orders before he could even say hello._

_"I need these to go out today." She patted the stack of mail, before pulling out her phone, her attention already fading. "Priority. See to it now so there's no chance they get delayed until tomorrow's post."_

_"Yes ma'am."_

_She walked off without saying another word, more important matters pressing at her than 'thank you' or politeness. Vince waited until she was out of sight, better chance of not running into her again, and with one sweeping motion he scooped up the entire pile and headed for the post office._

* * *

_They ran until they knew they were well out of her mother's sight, leaving them breathless and brimming with the kind of giggles that come from relief after you almost get caught. Giggles that bloomed into belly laughs, and left them hunched over, hands on knees, until they both fell to the grass. Neither of them certain how long it took for them to calm down, neither of them really caring. Finally they rolled to their backs, eyes looking up to the blue sky poking through the breaks in the tree leaves above them._

_Everything was quiet. One of those simple moments they could share without saying a word. Until Jane broke it with three and their laughter took off again with no end in sight._

_"Dorothea and Clementine."_

* * *

Her finger had barely left the doorbell before Maura swung open her front door. In fact, she was certain she could still hear the chime echoing through the house. But her focus quickly shifted to Maura. Her eyes wide and panicked. Her hair tousled in a way Jane knew hadn't been intended. Her own eyes searched for more, but before she could observe anything else, Maura grabbed her wrist and pulled her inside. She didn't let go as they speedily walked through the house and it took a great deal of effort on Jane's part not to tangle their feet and trip.

"Woah, Maura, slow down. It's not like the place is going to flood…"

The words died on her lips as they turned the corner into the kitchen. A wave of understanding, of realization at why Maura was so frantic, washed over her. Mounds of soaked towels and growing puddles of water filled the kitchen floor. The island that sat in the middle of the room looked close to becoming an actual island. After a moment of shock, Jane turned to Maura.

"You didn't turn off the water?"

"Does it look like I know how to turn off the water? It's why I called you."

Her words were quick, but not sharp. Filled with fluster more than anything else. A shadow of a grin ghosted over Jane's face as she watched Maura shake her head in disbelief and defeat. Because while the situation was rather unfortunate, she couldn't deny she loved seeing the unpolished Maura. The guard-down, real version. The one Jane knew often hid deep inside. This Maura was her favorite.

With still panicked eyes upon her, Jane gently set her hands atop Maura's shoulders.

"It's okay – "

"But – "

Jane gave a soft squeeze that cut off any of Maura's further concerns. All of them dissolved as her shoulders relaxed and her jaw released its tension. Everything soothing under Jane's touch until she once again felt as though she could breathe.

"It's going to be fine," Jane reassured. "Promise."

Maura nodded as Jane flashed her charming grin. One that left both their insides fluttering. A fluttering they both tried to mask and yet each of them had a small inkling their feelings were mirrored by the other. But before it could grow into anything more, Jane moved to the sink and squatted in front of the cupboard below. It was only as she reached for the handles that Maura remembered exactly what was happening within the small space.

"Just be careful. It was…" Jane opened the doors before she could finish. A chaotic spray burst out, flying in every direction, but primarily aimed into Jane's unexpecting face. She slammed the doors shut once again and Maura sheepishly finished her initial warning. "… spraying."

"Thanks, Maura," Jane replied, wiping the water away from her eyes.

This time, more prepared than the previous try, Jane dove back under the sink and into the wet mess it held. Her fingers slipped against the metal knob, pausing her attempt to cease the wild spray and only causing her to become more soaked. Finally she got the water shut off, giving a quick glance around to see what the problem might be before crawling back out.

"Just looks like a few sockets got loose. I'll have it fixed in no time."

"Great," Maura said with a smile, but inside she couldn't help how her heart sank. She really wished it were a major problem. One that would cause Jane to spend hours in her home.

As Jane predicted, it only took a tool or two and a couple of minutes before she declared it good as new.

"That should do it." Her was voice slightly muffled from under the sink. "Once I turn the water back on you'll be good to go."

There was a brief pause as she did exactly that, followed half a second later by the hiss of spewing water and a sharp yelp Maura had never heard Jane make before.

"Jesus – " she exclaimed, scrambling to shut it off once more. "Or not."

As if like a sixth sense, Jane could feel the amusement fill Maura's eyes and a laugh begin to bubble in her chest. And though she too found the humor in it, she couldn't help but tease.

"You better not be laughing, Maura."

"I can't promise that."

Jane's grin grew from ear to ear as she fiddled a little more before trying again. Both of them held their breaths until they were certain there weren't going to be any more eruptions. As Jane crawled back out, Maura was glad she hadn't made the promise not to laugh because one escaped against her will. The sight of Jane doused from the stomach up, her hair more wild because of it, enough to spring free a giddiness she hadn't felt in a long while.

"I'm glad you find this amusing," she joked, pulling at the shirt that now tightly clung to her front. Her eyes wandered, looking for a dry towel, but instead they fell upon something much more mischievous. The removeable nozzle head for the faucet. The perfect tool to make things a little more even.

"This seems a little unfair," she continued. "How did I end up this drenched mess, when it was your sink?"

Maura noticed the jest in her voice, but before she could even begin to think of what Jane had up her sleeve, she found herself facing a well-aimed nozzle. Poised and ready to strike.

"Jane," Maura threatened in the best serious tone she could muster, holding her hand out as if it were any help at all. Jane's smile only grew wider and more wily. The gentle teasing reminiscent of their childhood. She let out a quick, nervous laugh. "Don't, Jane. I'm warning you."

Slowly Jane's hand found the faucet handle, her aim on Maura centering even further. Maura found herself backed up against the island with nowhere to go, and with one desperate last plea she yelled something she promised to never say again.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli!"

Jane froze a moment before her eyes narrowed, jaw dropping. And instantly Maura realized that those words had backfired. That rather than the warning she meant them to be, they were instead an open invitation for Jane to even things out.

"You did not just middle name me."

"It just slipped out. Sorry. Really, I am."

"I don't think you can get off that easily, Maura _Dorothea_ Isles."

Without further warning, a quick shot of water lunged for her. Maura gasped in shock. Partly in disbelief, partly in reaction to the cold water. Her mind scrambled to find the best route to run far away before she could be subjected to another round. But before she could act, Jane pulled her close, wrapping a strong arm around her waist. For half a breath they fell completely still. Their laughs settled and breaths shallow. Sharing the same air. Their eyes locked, no longer roaming over lips or lightly freckled cheeks. Just deep, exposing stares into depths only the other knew how to reach.

They each took a half step closer, drawing so near if either of them leaned forward they would be pressed together. And that mixed with everything else caused Jane's hand to slip. A shower of water erupted between them. Cold and sharp. A stark contrast to the soft warmth that had been building moments before.

Maura let out a shriek as the spray continued to rain down. Jane laughed loudly, pulling Maura completely close. Their joyful noise dancing through the first floor of the house, only dying down as Maura finally managed to wrestle the nozzle out of Jane's hand, leaving just their soft panting to be heard.

"So," Maura started, still firmly wrapped in Jane's grasp. Her breath a little shaky, intoxicated by her touch. A memory from their childhood the only thing keeping her from floating away completely. "Are you going to stop talking to me now?"

Jane's eyes softened as she too remembered the moment. When middle names were shared and threats of silence were declared. "I think we both know that was an empty threat."

"I had hoped as much."

With a gentle touch, Jane reached towards Maura, her light fingers struggling to push the strands of wet hair plastered against Maura's cheek to behind her ear. But once she finally had, a smile and laugh broke free.

"You're a mess."

"I can't believe you sprayed me."

"I think it was well deserved."

Maura shook her head, shooting Jane a playful look. Bright and radiating a heat neither could pull away from. Building so warm that if they remained just where they were, they'd soon be completely dry. But then the cold reality of their situation washed through Jane's veins like ice water. She cleared her throat and took a step back, dropping her hold around Maura and leaving them both with shivers from the loss.

"You know what else is a mess?" She motioned to the entire room. "This kitchen. Need help cleaning up?"

Maura kept her gaze on Jane a moment longer, trying to determine what had made Jane jump away as quickly as she had, but with lingering uncertainty, she turned away and gave the room a quick scan. It had been a mess before Jane arrived, but after Jane's couple of attempts to fix it, plus their playful mishap, her kitchen was looming on disaster. She gave a soft shake of her head.

"No, I couldn't ask you to do that. You've already helped so much and…"

"I want to, Maura," she assured.

Maura smiled, giving a single nod and that icy cold feeling Jane had coursing through her moments before vanished. Replaced by a blooming goodness that radiated outwards and left her skin tingling.

"I've got an extra shirt in my truck. Let me just change really quick so I'm not dripping everywhere. I'll be right back."

She watched as Jane walk back down the hall she had hastily pulled her through earlier. Her fingers toyed with the damp edge of her own shirt, partly mimicking Jane's much larger ones as Jane pulled the clinging cotton tee away from her skin in big motions. A feeling pooled deep in Maura's chest. One that lingered long after Jane had disappeared from sight. One she realized she hadn't felt in a long while. Desire and want and hope and possibilities. And all of them felt good.

A lazy grin, tired but wistful, tugged at the corner of her mouth as her eyes fell to the kitchen sink and the nozzle that had created all the magic within the mess. She stayed still, letting replays of the spray and their laughter flood her. Until a single thought halted it all. Put pause to the possibilities and shoved that pooling feeling deeper than ever before.

That as much as she may want it, this would not be her life once she married Garrett. There would be no water fights in the kitchen or sawdust mishaps in a workshop. Her life and their marriage would be prim and proper. Envied by all in their social circle. It would be what was expected of her. But now, in this moment, what she wouldn't give just to have the magic.

The front door slammed, startling her into a sharp breath. She shook her head a few times, trying to completely free her mind of the impossible she had lost herself in. Heavy footsteps in the hall moved closer, then fell back, shuffling around with seemingly no particular direction. The movement not what she anticipated and unlike Jane's soft and direct patter.

With growing confusion, she called out. "Jane?"

The name floated in the air only moments, wishful beyond measure, before Garrett walked around the corner. His eyes glued to his phone. Oblivious to her and the name she called out.

"Oh, Garrett, it's you."

He looked up, his brow furrowed and then it eased away, a half-grin taking over his face. The same half-grin she'd fallen for years before. And before she could stop it, she was reminded that was before Jane. Before her full smiles and impish smirks and welcoming beams that felt like nothing else.

"Expecting someone else?"

"No, I suppose not – " she managed before he cut her off.

"God, look at this place. Look at you." He looked her up and down quickly before skirting the edge of the room, careful to keep expensive shoes away from any puddles. "The woman outside from the repair service said it was a mess, but jeez."

She waited to see if he would elaborate further, and when he didn't she prodded a little. "Did she say anything else?"

He tilted his head slightly, the crinkle back between his eyes. "Like?"

Maura gave a little shrug. "Anything."

"Just that everything is fixed like new, but to call her if any problems do happen to pop up." He managed to find a path to the counter and grabbed an apple. "Oh, and that it was a pleasure working with you, or some customer service line like that."

She chose to ignore the second part of his sentence, knowing he only added it to be dismissive, instead focusing on Jane's words. Wishing she could have heard them herself. Could have seen the bashful smile, and possibly blushing cheeks, that would have accompanied them if she had.

Garrett took a loud bite, speaking between large chomps. "Want me to find the housekeeper to clean this up?"

She blinked at him a few times before finally registering that he had spoken, her mind so lost in a lovely elsewhere she had forgotten he was still in the room. Finally she shook her head.

"No, I'll do it."

"Don't be ridiculous, Maura. Just let me call for them and – "

"Garrett," she said firmly. "I'll clean up."

He held his hands up in a moment of surrender, before lowering them with a head shake and scoff. "I don't know why we have all this staff if you just insist on doing everything yourself."

"Why have someone else do what I'm perfectly capable of? Besides, it's partly my fault, so I'll take care of it."

She watched as he walked off in confusion. About as confused as she found herself, standing in the kitchen all alone with only her thoughts. Her once sure life, now about as solid as one of the many puddles pooled at her feet. And as she let out a soft sigh, two questions she didn't have answers to sat firmly in her mind.

What was she doing? And what came next?

* * *

You all are just the loveliest readers. I can't tell you how much your encouraging words mean to me. I really hope you enjoy.


	6. Chapter 6

She missed the first handful of pitches. Missed the outs that came from them. Missed the way her Pop began to shift in his chair, the telltale sign he was growing frustrated. Missed it all until a harsh shout pulled her back.

"What are you looking at ump!" Frank yelled at the television before giving a dismissive wave of his hand. He let out a scoff, shaking his head, clearly waiting for Jane to chime in, and when she didn't, he looked over quickly recognizing she had been elsewhere moments before. "You alright, Janie?"

"Hmm," she mumbled, snapping her attention over to him, his question still lingering a moment more before she replied. "Oh, yeah. Fine. Why?"

"You've just been awfully quiet. Given that the strike zone seems to be changing every batter, thought you might be a little more vocal."

She gave a half smile, one that was quick to appear and equally so to vanish. Because normally he'd be right. They'd be hemming and hawing as if the umpire could hear them, sometimes so loud she thought perhaps he could.

But today her heart and mind were elsewhere. On one person in specific. Maura.

"Guess I just have a lot on my mind is all."

"You know you can talk to me about it if you want."

She smiled back. This time with one that was warm and full. It was moments like these she never took for granted. His understanding of when to push or pry and when to simply lend an open ear.

"I know, Pop. Thanks." She stood from her seat and motioned to the table near his own chair. "Need anything?"

He glanced over to the table and grimaced. A small plate of veggies sat where there was normally a bowl of chips or heavily salted pretzels, one of the changes Jane had insisted upon after he got out of the hospital, he looked back and gave an hard shake of his head.

"I'm good."

She shook her head and gave a playful roll of her eyes at his dramatics before leaving for the kitchen. The stroll down the hall was the same as any before. She passed by photos and the wall that served as a height chart and the built-in shelves stuffed beyond their limits with books and trinkets and memories. She loved that he still lived in their childhood home. It held more than any of them could remember. A time capsule that held treasured memories, both vivid and long forgotten. She stopped in her tracks. The idea of forgotten treasures had her changing course, away from the kitchen and up to the attic. Again, allowing her mind to wander to Maura and hoping she could find one thing in particular.

It was dim and dusty and immediately she wondered if she had temporarily lost her mind. There was no way she was going to find what she was looking for, but after a moment of internally arguing with herself, she gave it a shot. There was no rhyme or reason to her searching. Just a haphazard line of pushing boxes around, opening those that looked like maybe they could be something. But after a while, lost in a space where there seemed to be no sense of time, the doubts began to surface again.

She ran her fingers through her hair in mild frustration and let out a sigh. One that must have been louder and traveled further than she realized, as Frank yelled up the wooden ladder a moment later.

"Janie? Need help finding something?"

"No, Pop. I'm fine," she replied, looking across the entire room one last time. "Probably a lost cause anyway."

There was a half-second pause before he yelled back. "Try the bookcase by the vent. Second shelf from the top."

Her eyes darted to the spot he mentioned, immediately spotting the box. Worn edges. Peeling tape and torn corners. Marker crossed out a number of times to relabel the updated contents. And though it was hardly remarkable, somehow she knew it held exactly what she had been searching for.

The dust was thick across the top, making her extremely careful as she began to pry open the flaps. Inside were old school papers and awards. Small action figures and patches she had meant to put on her jean jacket in middle school. Every item holding a memory that had become so buried but was now so clear.

She made it through most of the box before her fingers found it. A piece of paper, torn from whatever stationary she had begged her parents for back then. In pencil, scrawled across light lines, read the words she though so hard about. That she had tried to make perfect and special. Promises that hadn't come to mind in decades.

Her forgotten vows.

* * *

_21 years before_

_Jane sat along the edge of their front porch, legs swinging as they dangled just above her Ma's flowerbed. She watched intently as Frank replaced a couple of boards that had started to rot, in addition to the one she, Frankie, and Tommy had busted with their roughhousing the week before. His movements were quick and precise – pulling, aligning, hammering. Jane soaked it all up, just in case she ever needed to do this herself. If ever in the future she and Maura shared a home._

_The idea caused her focus to shift. Away from the comfort of wood and nails and towards the much more intimidating world of words. Vows to be exact. Maura had suggested the try to write their own, and Jane had whole heartedly agreed, but now she wasn't so sure it had been a great idea. The uncertainty of what she should write was powerful and looming, leaving her with nothing when she was certain there were too many things to say to Maura._

_Frank stopped for a moment, leaning back from his kneeled position to rest on his heels. And as he went to wipe at his brow, Jane caught the glimmer of his wedding band. She had been told stories of her parent's wedding. Some funny, some romantic, some she probably shouldn't have been told. But through all of them, she understood how lovely it had been. How it was something to strive for._

_And maybe he was the perfect person to ask for advice on the block she just couldn't get around._

_"Pop?"_

_"Yeah," he said, already hunched back over, poised to pick up right where he left off._

_"What did you say to Ma at your wedding?"_

_He set the hammer down and slowly looked over, the extra time just enough for him to make sure he had heard correctly. "Our wedding?"_

_Jane nodded back. Her eyes wide with the hope that he would be able to help. He always had before. And because of that wishing, she missed the barely-there glint of understanding. The soft delight that came with knowing where she was going because of what Maura had let slip a week prior. He patted the step in between them both and they each moved until they were seated side by side._

_"Well, we decided to write our own vows at the ceremony."_

_"What would have happened if you didn't write any?" she cut in._

_"I suppose we would have just recited the traditional ones," he replied. "But I'm glad we decided against that option."_

_"Why?"_

_Frank chuckled as memories he hadn't thought of in a long while mixed with the amusement at Jane's curiosity._

_"It was your Ma's idea. She wanted us to make those promises to one another with words and moments that were personal. And even though it took a while for me to figure out what I wanted to say, it was worth it because they were so special to the both of us."_

_"What did you write?"_

_"Well, I told her how her laugh was my most favorite sound in the world and promised to try my best to make it heard every day. And I said that she was my best friend and I would never take that for granted. And that the thing I looked most forward to was getting to spend my life with her and share a family together."_

_Jane sat quiet for a few seconds, her head falling to look at her lap, processing all he just said. Letting the magic within his words fill her like they had him all those years before. It was all she wanted within her own vows. And upon the realization her face once again fell to a small frown. Because she still wasn't sure how she was supposed to do that. She looked back up with uncertain eyes._

_"How… how did you know those were the right things to say?"_

_"That's a hard question to answer." He let out a little sigh. "All I can really say is that they just felt right."_

_He watched as Jane's face fell a little, dropping into a mix of confusion and defeat. His own eyes softened even further, into a gentleness only she could pull from him._

_"How about I tell you what I did when I wrote those vows? What I still do when I write your Ma anything, hmm?"_

_Her eyes lit up before he could blink, quick and eager, matching the way her head nodded back to him. She scooted a little closer without realizing, waiting on his next words like they held the secrets to the universe._

_"Close your eyes." She watched as he closed his own before snapping her shut. "Now, clear your mind of everything for a few breaths. Just focus on breathing in and out." They both did exactly that, thinking of nothing else for a few moments. "Okay, is it clear?"_

_Jane nodded. "Mmhmm."_

_"Alright. Now think about one thing you love about the person. I could be anything, but just choose one, and let the feelings you get from thinking about that fill your entire chest."_

_Having opened his own eyes, he watched as her smile grew wide and bright. Her eyes dancing to memories he could only guess at. Things he was certain were only shared between Jane and Maura._

_"That feeling, hold onto it," he said, low and warm, drawing Jane's eyes back open. He tapped his fingers at his own chest. "Keep it tucked right here. And when you're trying to figure out what to write, remember it. Let if fill you up again and see if the words you came up with do the same. If they don't, think of something else. But if they do, that's how you know they're right."_

_Jane nodded back, silent and awestruck at his words, only then realizing her own hand had drifted to atop her heart. A sudden blush scorched over her cheeks, followed quickly behind by a trail of uncharacteristic bashfulness._

_"I'm writing something for Maura."_

_"I had a feeling," he replied with a quick wink._

_And just that little gesture was enough to soothe her in a way she didn't know she needed. Like an approval or confirmation, she wasn't sure. Perhaps just a moment of complete understanding between them like they never shared before. And her heart swelled, filling her chest with a different feeling, one so unlike what she felt when thinking of Maura minutes earlier, the realization enough to bring her back to why she asked about everything in the first place._

_"I'm going to go upstairs to start." She scrambled up from her seat, dusting off her backside. "Thanks, Pop."_

_She made it a few feet before Frank called out over his shoulder, stopping her in her tracks._

_"Hey, Janie," she turned, practically split in two by her eagerness to start writing and eagerness to hear what more he had to say. "She's going to like whatever it is you want to say."_

_She smiled back, giving a quick nod before dashing out of site. Her feet moved faster than they ever moved before as she sprinted up the stairs, not stopping until she was seated in the middle of her room, paper and pencil in hand. Slowly she got her heart to settle and breath to even. Not simple tasks with the excitement coursing through her._

_But finally she felt still, letting her eyes fall. She repeated what her Pop had told her on the porch, the unique, but now familiar, buzz filling her chest like it had minutes earlier. She let it stay there for a long while, the feeling of goodness like nothing she had experience before._

_Eventually, her eyes slowly blinked back open and she began to write. She wrote everything that came to mind, flooding the paper with memories and promises, filling up the entire sheet. And when she finally felt as though there was no more, she set down her pencil and began to read them all, pausing after each one, waiting to see if her chest would fill with that feeling like her Pop said it would if the words were right. Slowly she began to cross things off, until finally she had them. The words that made her feel like she was soaring. That she couldn't wait to get to read to Maura. Vows that she promised herself she would always keep._

_Maura,_

_I love that you are the smartest person I know. You always know the most interesting things and have facts for everything. Like when you told me what causes hiccups or explained how windshield wipers were invented. And I promise to always listen to every fact you tell me and do my best to remember them. And I hope you get to tell me a lot._

_I love that you are my best friend and that we can just be ourselves when we are with each other. I love that we can share secrets and our dreams because we know each other so well. There isn't anyone else I would want to be best friends with. And I promise that even when we are old, we will still be best friends and no matter what you can always be the person you are with me._

_I love that you are magic. My parents told me it was rare to find someone who has magic in them, but you do. I can see it whenever you laugh or get really into a book. It's in the fort we built together. But mostly it's just wherever you are. And I promise to do my best to always make sure that your magic is shining for our entire lives._

_(There are lots more things I love about you too, but I had to pick only a few or our wedding would be really long.)_

_Love, Jane_

* * *

Her coffee had long been cold before she realized too late, her face scrunching in surprise as the liquid hit her lips. There was too much on her mind to stay present long enough to finish a single cup. The wedding. Garrett. Her mother.

Her mother.

She let out a heavy, burdened sigh as snippets of their conversation the night before raced to mind. How even more wedding details had turned into her mother's realization that everything was aligning socially so that the first event she and Garrett would attend together as husband and wife would be her New York gallery opening. How their entire talk was a mix of dueling reactions. Her mother's thrill and excitement versus her uncertainty and dread.

She dropped her head, only to look straight into the other issue that had begun to nag at her unrelentingly. Her vows to Garrett. Because while she hadn't expected it to be easy, she didn't think they would be this difficult to write. Her words felt so impersonal for someone she was marrying. A quick scan over the draft further solidified that idea. If anyone else were to read it, it could have easily been mistaken as a description for furniture.

Steady. Solid. Dependable. Tasteful.

She pushed the notepad away and let her head fall into her hands, letting her eyes sink into her palms as if somehow that would allow her to see things more clearly. To find words for him like she had for Jane so long before.

With a deep breath in, she sat back up with thoughts of Jane, but the mix of old and new memories were quickly overshadowed by the folder she knew sat underneath the pile of papers she had just pushed away. The divorce papers she had still yet to show Jane. Her reasoning why she hadn't, clear as day, but her decision as to what to do next was becoming more confusing with every passing minute. Her muddled thoughts came to a quick stop at an unexpected greeting.

"Morning, Miss Isles."

She jumped. A sharp breath catching in her throat. Heart pounding harder for a couple of beats.

"Vince?" She glanced at the clock and then back to him. "You're here awfully early."

He gave a nod. "Wanted to get a jump on the day. Thought maybe I could leave a bit early. There's a lovely Shepherd at the shelter I'd love to see before the day's end."

She smiled with a warmth that reached to her eyes. "Of course. Here, let me get you a cup of coffee."

"No, no," he said quickly, stopping her from getting up. "You keep where you are. Looked like you were deep in thoughts over wedding details."

She gave a half-grimaced smile. The grimace for how wrong he was. The smile to show how much she appreciated his unwavering kindness. The same he had shown her as a child. The same he showed when he agreed to stay on as head of staff after Maura took over the estate from her mother. It was always the same and she was forever grateful. But that smile was quick to fall into a frown, and she slowly shook her head.

"Not quite."

She rifled through the pile until she came to the very bottom. Her hand rested on top of it for a few moments before she pushed to folder towards him. He flipped it open, eyes only scanning over the title before he looked back up with a scrunched brow. She could see his obvious confusion, but under that she thought she saw a flicker of hope and relief.

"Divorce papers? Seems a little early for these."

She let out a dry laugh before shaking her head. "Those aren't for me and Garrett. Look closer."

He dropped his head and scanned it over again, snapping his eyes back up a moment later.

"Jane Rizzoli? Little, mischievous Jane from way back when?"

"The very one," she answered.

He looked back down at the file and she understood. She recognized the bouncing eyes and subtle headshakes of disbelief. The search for answers where there were none. And after a few more moments of silent questioning, just like her, his head rose with a furrowed brow and utter confusion.

"I don't understand."

Maura set her hand light atop his forearm. "How about I get you that cup of coffee?"

"That might be best," he replied with suddenly wary eyes.

They worked through two steaming cups of coffee as Maura told him everything. They drank through cup one with mentions of the marriage license application snafu that brought everything about and explanations of those divorce papers were the solution to it all. Cup two brought stories of all the moments with Jane afterwards. The workshop and charity baseball game and broken sink. And once they both had only puddles left at the bottom of their mugs, Maura was certain she had spilled it all.

Vince gave a couple of nods as she finished. Because while he had heard all she said aloud, he had also heard everything she said in the unspoken. The hints and hopes that encircled the stories of Jane and Maura together. And right alongside that, all the uncertainty of what to do.

He tapped at one of the lines along the bottom of the document. "There aren't any signatures."

She gave a sheepish nod, gaze falling to where his finger lay. "I know, I just haven't figured out how to tell her everything."

"I'm not just talking about Jane's."

Maura looked back up, her eyes wide, holding a lostness he hadn't seen since she was young. And even though it had been a long time, his heart ached now like it did back then.

"I don't know what to do, Vince."

He smiled, soft and warm, trying to be as reassuring as possible. "I may not be the best person to be giving advice in this area, given I've been married four times and divorced just as many, but the best thing I can tell you is to follow your heart. It matters a whole hell of a lot more than anything else."

"It's not that easy."

His eyes flickered with understanding. The external pressures he had watched her be under as a child had only grown even greater as she got older. Pressures from her mother and their circle within society and the Isles Foundation. All of them expecting something from her. A perfection that no one could uphold.

He gathered himself to reply, the words hanging on his tongue, until they were swallowed back. Whether they were of wisdom or encouragement or something else completely, she would never know. A booming shout echoed through the halls, disrupting everything it could bounce off of.

"Maura?" Harsh, hurried footsteps got closer, warning them both of the impatience howling within. Garrett boomed again, louder than necessary as he turned into the kitchen. "Maura? There you are. Have you seen the keys to the Mercedes?"

"Umm, no. I haven't," she managed, shocked by the stark transition from heartfelt conversation to what felt like an interrogation. "Why?"

"Because apparently no one knows how to fill a gas tank when asked, so I can't drive the Bentley. If I miss my tee time because of this, I swear." He pushed some papers around on the counter, doing nothing but making more of a mess.

She stood and took a step forward, initially going to try and calm him down, but immediately recognizing it was probably of no use. He was too tightly wound. Instead, she offered her own car. "You can take the Prius if you want. The keys are right there."

He froze at the suggestion, as if trying to figure out if it was serious or a joke, before scoffing. "I can't show up at the country club in a Prius. I'll never hear the end of it."

The room fell silent as he continued to stare at her, as if waiting for a better more helpful suggestion, or that she would magically recall where the keys just happened to be, but when neither Maura or Vince said anything more, he stalked off with a deep, frustrated sigh.

Maura watched until he disappeared from sight, turning back to find Vince's concerned gaze upon her. The same concern he showed when she agreed with her parents to go to boarding school at 14. The same concern he showed when she agreed to step away from medicine to run the Isles Foundation for her mother. The same concern he always showed when it came to her best interests.

He gave a sad smile, glancing quickly to the divorce papers and then back up, before setting a warm hand over hers and giving a gentle squeeze.

"I know it's complicated, but it's also easier than you may think."

The words settled between them for a few breaths, growing until it engulfed her completely, so lost in the simplicity and weight of them, she missed Vince's exit. Because he was right. Her whole life could practically be summed up by that statement. How complicated all her responsibilities and expectations were but how easy it should be to rid herself of them and do what she wanted. But once again she circled back to the fact that it wasn't that way.

And as much as she had hoped for answers, and maybe Vince did help her to find some, she wasn't sure she could actually act on them. She couldn't simply declare that her love for Jane had never died. That she firmly believed they were always meant to be. How she wished she could kiss her, today and every day after, for the rest of their lives. So instead she sat back down and wrote. New vows that said it all. Vows that would never be read or said. And unlike the one's from her childhood, promises that would never be forgotten.


	7. Chapter 7

The support you've shown this story means more to me than I can say. Thank you so much!

* * *

_21 years ago_

_"Are you sure we have to do this?"_

_Jane leaned against the door of the study, arms slightly crossed. Maura let out a light laugh as she looked over her shoulder, finding the small pout on Jane's face, equal parts playful and wary. She turned back to the stack of records in front of her and pulled one free._

_"Yes, Jane. Every wedding has a first dance."_

_"Yeah, but-" she took a couple of steps forward despite the protests within her head, "-our wedding isn't really a normal wedding, so maybe we could just skip…"_

_Jane trailed off as music filled the room, slow but light, arms still across her chest. Not yet recognizing how her reluctance was disappearing with every note._

_"Come on. It won't be that bad."_

_"But I can't dance, Maura."_

_"Everyone can dance."_

_"Not like the way you want us to." Maura narrowed her eyes, head tilting slightly in confusion, and Jane elaborated. "You know, like slowly."_

_"I'll teach you," Maura assured, voice like honey, soothing away any insecurities Jane held onto. "Trust me."_

_She held out her hand for only a moment before Jane took it, instantly relaxing into her. The steadiness and warmth of her touch easing everything like it always did. With an encouraging smile they began to move. Slow and shaky. The music quickly faded away, Jane's sole focus on her feet. Her eyes glued to the floor. Every ounce of energy channeled into ensuring she didn't step on Maura._

_Their dancing resembled stumbling more than anything else, jerky and hesitant, which only got worse after Jane accidentally stepped on Maura's toes._

_"Sorry," she said quickly, pulling her head up only to trip even harder a step later. "Ah, sorry Maura. See, I'm not sure I can do this."_

_"Yes you can," she said, firmly keeping hold of Jane's arm as she tried to back away. "You beat out half the boys in your grade to make the flag football team. You can do this. Let's try again."_

_Jane simply nodded back and they began to dance again. This time they started slower, eventually moving with beath of the music. They fell into an easiness. Jane no longer tried to count steps. Maura no longer had to push and pull them across the room. The two of them gliding in perfect harmony like they did in everything else._

_"See, not so bad," Maura said as the record played its last few notes. But even in the quiet, they remained in their hold. "Maybe one day we'll be so good that you can dip me."_

_"Dip?"_

_"Yeah, it's kind of a move where one person leans over and the other bends backwards and they just… dip."_

_Jane tried to picture it in her head as they swayed back and forth. Playing out how she would have to lean, how much strength she would need to hold Maura up, how flexible Maura would need to be to bend backwards. And as each little piece ran through her mind, she nodded to herself, confirming that even with their very limited dance experience, they could do it._

_"Why don't we try now?"_

_"Now? Because we don't…" she trailed off, the excitement and confidence in Jane's eyes removing her hesitation. "Okay, but you better not drop me. I'm serious, Jane."_

_"I won't. I won't."_

_She restarted the record, both of them somehow knowing exactly when the perfect time for the dip was within the song. The anticipation grew with each beat. Their smiles uncontrollable. Sparks under their fingers._

_Maura adjusted their hold as they got closer and when the moment came, a quick nod between them was all that was needed before Jane leaned and Maura bended and together they dipped. They floated for a moment, both of them marveling at how well they were doing, until they both felt the quick slip. Jane's hand moved. Maura's weight shifted._

_"Jane!"_

_Jane's eyes widened, expressing a silent 'sorry', before they both tumbled to the ground. They both stayed still on the floor for a beat, each it a little shock, before giggles turned into side-splitting laughter. Laughs that soon drowned out the music and made their own melody. Eventually they fell quiet, lying side by side, both of them just staring up at the ceiling, lost in their own thoughts._

_"Hey, Maura."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"One day we are going to be good at dancing and I am going to dip you."_

_"Promise?"_

_"Promise."_

* * *

Present

Jane wrung her hands together in an attempt to stop the fidgeting of her fingers. She knew it sounded crazy, but ever since she found those vows and touched that paper, they hadn't felt the same. Frankie had joked with her that the pencil she used back then was probably made of actual lead and so she was having some toxic reaction, but she knew it was something else. Something more. And she wasn't sure she actually wanted it to go away. Because even though keeping those feelings around meant playing with fire, a fire bigger than she wanted to admit, they also made her feel a way she hadn't in so long.

With a steadying, nerve-settling breath she reached out and pushed the doorbell. It's chime took her back to the last time she had stood in that exact spot, the flooding kitchen and the hint of something between her and Maura. She couldn't deny a part of her wished something like that would happen during this visit. Fires that could come from it be damned.

The door jerked open and just like at her Pop's house days before, the man that stood before her felt like a time capsule, bringing forth a wave of memories at just the sight of him. And though she recognized him immediately, he was the first to speak. His voice hinted with hesitant hope.

"Jane?"

"Vince!" she exclaimed, launching into him without missing a beat, just like she had as a kid, the only difference being she could actually wrap her arms around him.

"It's good to see you, kid," he said over her shoulder.

She let out a hearty laugh as they pulled away. "Good to see you too. Not much of a kid anymore though."

"I suppose not." He gave a little shrug. "But, eh, you'll always be a kid to me."

"Sounds good to me."

He let out a soft laugh, the kind he always had, with a subtle croak and gentle wheeze. "Come in, come in. Is Maura expecting you?"

"No, she's not. I was in the area and though I'd drop by and return this-" she reached for the towel that hung over her shoulder, one she had walked off with after the sink disaster. It felt soft under her fingers, as soft of an excuse to see Maura it was proving to be. She thought she saw a small smirk on his face, but it was gone with a blink.

"Well, I'm sure she will love to see you. She's in the dining room. Think you can find your way after all these years?"

"I think I'll manage," she replied with a glowing grin. She set a hand on his shoulder and gave a squeeze. "It really was great seeing you again, Vince."

"You too, Miss Rizzoli."

Again, a wave of nostalgia swept over her, filling her with the same joy she had felt back then, recalling how much she loved being called 'Miss Rizzoli' by him. How it made her feel so much older. How now it made her feel so much younger. He watched her walk down the hall and out of view. A sight that looked so natural, he could only hope one day it would be permanent. And last the lifetime he knew it would if only they would finally realize it.

The music found her before anything else, it's steady beat and growing swells pulling her to the entry of the dining room. She slowed as a voice she didn't recognize overpowered the music, giving praise- 'good', and sharp instruction- 'elbow up, keep your elbow up'. And as she leaned to peek around the corner she heard it. The feather light shuffle of feet across the floor.

Her eyes smiled and chest fluttered as she watched Maura float, moving to the precise choreography with unmatched grace. She swirled and flowed. Her arms up as if holding onto an invisible partner. A burning prickled at the back of Jane's throat as it hit her that Maura's fiancé had most likely forgotten, or simply hadn't cared enough to show up. But she swallowed it back as the music faded and Maura gave the instructor a triumphant half-grin, a flush to her cheeks and slightly out of breath.

"Good, Maura. That was very good," the older woman praised. "But this really would be more beneficial with your partner. After all, it will be the two of you dancing at the reception."

She nodded, glancing to the clock, her eyes filling with guilt as she realized the time. "I know, I'm so sorry. Garrett should have been here by now. If you give me a minute, I can call him…"

Jane jerked forward like a marionette on a string, with purpose but almost out of control. "I can be your partner."

Maura swiveled around, so quickly it could have been a step in the dance. Her eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

"Jane?" she forced out, voice cracking ever so slightly.

Jane moved across the room in a few steady strides, stopping in font of Maura with a glint in her eye and the trace of a challenge hidden in her smile. The mischievous glimmer enough to wipe away Maura's shock and replace it with a giddiness only Jane could evoke. A hurried shuffle came up from beside them, a slight fluster to the woman that Jane had forgotten was even in the room.

"Excuse me, excuse me," she pulled Jane's attention away. "But do you have any prior dance experience? It's not as trivial as it may look."

She turned back to Maura, focus falling completely to her, inching even closer.

"I had a pretty good instructor back in the day. I think I can manage." She extended her hand. "What do you say?"

"I'd love to," Maura replied without hesitation, letting her hand fall into Jane's. Each of them relishing the hum that lingered where they touched. Where it grew as Maura set her other hand on Jane's shoulder and where Jane placed hers lightly against the small of Maura's back. Each of them sinking into the other. Coming home to a place each were still too unwilling to admit they craved.

The music started before the buzz could burn beyond their fingertips, causing Maura to startle and Jane to instinctively pull them closer. Maura smiled a silent 'Are you ready?'. Jane winked back a quick 'Of course'. And they began to twirl across the room. Swift and light. A surprise to two out of three of them. Jane let out a soft laugh as she noticed Maura's and the older woman's expressions.

"You can't take all the credit," Jane said as she spun Maura away.

She spun back with a soft furrow to her eyes. "Credit?"

"For these graceful moves."

"Oh I can't. Why's that?" Maura's question teased as they fell back into their hold.

"Because Lydia made her entire wedding party take ballroom lessons for her and Tommy's wedding."

"Well they seem to have paid off."

"Eh," Jane said with a shrug. "It was all review."

Their eyes locked, an easy swirl within to match their movements. And suddenly Maura felt dizzy and off-balance, only steadying herself as she stepped on Jane's foot.

"Oh, Jane. I'm sorry. Are you alright?"

Jane laughed, full and warm. "It's due time you stepped on my toes. I think we both lost count the number of times I stepped on yours way back then." The music went a few more beats before Jane continued. "You know I remember that day. You teaching me how to dance."

"I do too."

They moved a few more steps, memories dancing alongside them, music swelling as if it knew what was building. All of it coming together into a moment mentioned so long ago. A moment forgotten but always promised. And Jane couldn't imagine a better opportunity to see it through. She pulled Maura a little tighter, an intensity pluming like billows of smoke behind her eyes.

"Trust me for a second."

"Of course."

As if on cue the music swelled and dropped, Jane following its lead, spinning them before dropping Maura into a dip. The move both quick and sensually slow. Jane let her eyes trail up Maura's neck as she fell back. Maura's breath caught as Jane's arms flexed underneath her. Both of their hearts pounded hard. The hum they each felt at the beginning back again, moving across their entire bodies.

They hung frozen together for a half-second longer before Jane pulled them back up. Closer than they were before. Locked within the other's tight arms. Eyes darting up and down to lips only inches away. Their breaths tickling over cheeks and chins.

"There's that dip I promised you," Jane whispered, thick and raspier than Maura had ever heard her voice before.

"Yeah," she managed.

A sharp clap from behind them snapped them out of their bubble.

"Good. Very good," the woman praised, walking quickly over to them. Jane's cheeks blushed as she took a step back, having once again completely forgotten the other woman was still in the room. She shook her head and pushed Jane and Maura back together. "You're not done yet. Remember to keep this up-" nudging Jane's elbow, "-now, let's try something a little slower."

Gentle music filled the room and they fell back into each other's arms, swaying back and forth. It was easy, like Maura had come to expect when they were together. Just like it had been when they were kids. And though she tried to fight it, that ease also brought with it a discomfort she had been trying to ignore. The discomfort that came with the unknown. That came with questions she herself couldn't find answers for. Because if it had always been this easy and good, why had they gone decades absent from the other's life?

Jane noticed the unease that settled in the shallow wrinkles that framed Maura's eyes. It was different from her tell as a kid, but still enough for her to recognize the weight of whatever had come to mind.

"What?"

Maura stared back for a second, still amazed Jane could understand her so well.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"I'm not even sure you'll have an answer, which would be okay, but-"

"Maura," Jane gently cut her off, eyes pouring a gaze that instantly made her settle.

"What happened to us?" Jane frowned in confusion, prompting Maura to continue. "As kids, what happened? We were inseparable and then we became strangers and… and I can't figure it out. Because being with you now is like we were never apart."

Jane stiffened a little under her touch. Mind going blank under the thick haze of uncertainty that suddenly blanketed it. But slowly the answer pierced through. An answer she was familiar with because she too had wondered about similar things. How did they drift? Why had life gotten away from her? What was she going to do about it?

"Um, well… I think life just got in the way," she started, her voice heavier than normal. A sad smile tried to ease away the pain of time lost. "You went off to boarding school in Europe and then my Ma got sick and passed away. And I shut everyone out for a long time. And by the time you came back we had grown up and… and I don't know, we just drifted, even if we were never truly meant to."

Jane's smile shifted from somber to soft and tender. A silent hope settled between them that the last part of her answer was what Maura felt too. That given slightly different circumstances, they would have never missed one another.

Maura matched her smile with a warm grin, an ease washing over her shoulders, traveling down her spine and filling her chest. Because while she knew it was irrational, there had always been a small part of her that feared she had done something wrong to mess up the best relationship she had ever had. Relationship. The word released the one question she had been fighting so hard to keep locked away, finding freedom on the edge of her tongue before she could capture it again.

"And what's happening now?"

An understanding flashed in Jane's eyes. Instant. Quick and scorching. The question was the fire she knew she had been tempting when she walked through the door. The one she had been all too willing to play with but was now afraid might burn her if she answered the way she wanted. Might burn them both. Perhaps Maura the most, as thoughts of Constance and the foundation and the life so perfectly planned out before they had fallen back into one another engulfed her. It wasn't something she was willing to risk. Never Maura. And so she swallowed it back, wincing as if her throat filled with smoke.

"We're dancing," she joked instead, falling on the humor that always worked in the past.

"Jane-"

"I… I don't know what you want me to say, Maura. There's… we're friends. Best friends."

Jane tried to take a step back, give a little distance as if it would somehow convince Maura her words were true. But Maura kept her grip on her arm tight, not allowing her to slip away.

"Are you sure that's it?" she whispered. Her eyes were wide, a mix of questioning and pleading swirling within. The same mix Jane had coursing through her entire body.

For a split second, Maura thought she saw Jane's head shake no, but it was gone just as quick, her focus shifting to Jane's next words. Words that were desperate, as if begging herself to remember the unfortunate truth.

"You're getting married."

"What if I had a reason not to?"

"Do you?"

The question hung within the air between them. Their bodies still. Neither of them breathing. Or even blinking. All of their focus on the answer they each so desperately needed to hear.

Maura's mouth opened as she sucked in a shallow breath, poising herself for the moment she had been avoiding since that afternoon in her lawyer's office. Words stumbled in her mind, none of them willing to be the first. Where to start? What to say? The pause stretched on a little longer before someone else found words to fill it.

"Miss Isles?" They both turned quickly in surprise to find Vince standing in the doorway. He cleared his throat. "I apologize, but I thought you may want to know that Mr. Fairfield just arrived back and should be in any moment."

"Right," she breathed out, both disappointed by the interruption and grateful for the heads-up. "Thanks, Vince."

He nodded apologetically before disappearing into the hall, leaving them with another broken moment. One she wished above all else she could glue back together. But it shattered even further as the sound of footsteps and the unmistakable jingle of Garrett's keys moved closer.

She turned back around to find Jane's eyes upon her. The lightness that had been within them seconds before now faded. The hope replaced with uncertainty. The joy swept away by a visible hurt. Jane snapped her eyes down to the floor. She gave a soft shake of her head, as if scolding herself for letting those thoughts of 'what if' lead her this far into the fire. For letting her Pop's ideas and those vows written years ago settle in her mind.

She looked back up to find Maura's regretful stare.

"I should get going," she said, giving a weak smile before she walked to the door.

Maura stayed quiet, still lost within the 180-degree turn that happened within the last minute. Jane was in her own fog too, oblivious to everything, bumping into Garret as they both filled the doorway at the same time.

"Excuse me," she said quickly, sidestepping him in the blink it took for him to look up from his phone. The glimpse just enough to spark the smallest flint of recognition. He moved to where Maura stood, wheels and cogs turning in his mind.

"Why does that woman look familiar…?"

She missed his question, her focus still on the invisible outline of Jane walking away, only hearing him after he cleared his throat.

"Garrett, hi. You finally made it."

"Yeah." He nodded, mind still racing after not being answered. Until finally it connected. "Wait, wasn't she the woman that fixed the sink?"

"Yes, she was."

He eyebrows knit together, not recalling any maintenance that needed to be done. "Why was she here?"

"Wedding stuff," she stated, sharp and to the point. Her words walked a fine line. Technically the truth, Jane had helped with the wedding dance practice, but her visit had been so much more than just that.

"Wedding stuff?" The question drowned in growing skepticism.

She nodded back. "Mmhmm."

They stared at each other for a few seconds, both of them aware of an unsaid something lingering between them.

"Ah, Mr. Fairfield," the older woman interjected, coming up to stand between them. "Lovely for you to join us, but unfortunately the time for today's session has run out."

"I know, I'm so sorry. Work just couldn't wait. But I will be here for the next one. Promise."

She gave him a tense smile back. The kind that comes when people recognize they are being lied to but still need to be polite.

"And when would you like to schedule your next session?" she asked, turning to Maura.

"Oh, um, let me just find my planner." She looked over at the dining room table, finding it bare besides the decorative centerpiece. "It must be on the kitchen counter. Garrett, would you mind grabbing it for me? It's probably on the pile of papers by the blender."

"Sure," he replied, pressing a quick, almost performatory, kiss to the side of her head.

It didn't take much effort to find the small binder, it sat right where she said it would, seated on one of the many piles of paper in the kitchen, each of them holding endless amounts of wedding planning details. More details that he could ever care about. But as he grabbed the planner, a sheet of paper sticking out from its buried spot caught his eye. It's simple title in Maura's handwriting enough to draw his interest.

Vows.

He peered over his shoulder, and certain he wouldn't be caught, he began to read.

_There has never been a time greater than now that I realize all I found in you._

_Acceptance. Home. Love._

_I smile as I write this, reflecting on it all because there is more than I could ever list, and so it simply means I've found everything. You are everything. And I want to be everything for you._

_Ever since we met, you have accepted me for who I am. You welcome my random facts and understand I miss social cues, and when we joke, you always laugh with me, never at me. It means more than I'll ever be able to tell you, and my vow to you would be to ensure you felt the same. Because you and I are perfect as we are. Perfect together._

_And with that acceptance, I've found a place that feels more like home than anywhere else I've ever been. Home is wrapped in your arms. It's belly laughs in the kitchen and the sound of your voice calling my name. I find it in our shared smiles, warm and safe. It's tucked within memories of our past and woven through thoughts of the future we could have. And given the chance, my promise is to create the same home for you. A home overflowing with love. A love only we share._

_Because your love is unlike any I've felt before. Between all the moments I fought so hard to earn it from everyone else, your love was given unconditionally. Given in a measure greater than I can truly comprehend. My heart flutters just thinking about it. And it would be my greatest wish to show you how much I love you. To show you for the rest of our lives. Because I do. I love you more than when our friendship was new and when we first got engaged and even from yesterday. And I'm certain, if we let it, it would only grow with each passing moment._

_Jane, you are my greatest love, my only love, and I vow no matter what, that will forever be true._

The smile on his face, smug and knowing, when he first began reading, fell harsh and quick. Promises he thought were his, ripped away within their final declaration. Jane. His confusion shifted into anger balled within his clenched fists. Those fists grabbed onto memories he didn't realize he had, pulling forward moments and details buried deep. Their talk with their lawyer. The name on the truck outside when the sink broke, Jane's Hardware and Repair. Whatever he had walked into in the dining room minutes before. All of it piecing together perfectly into an embarrassing truth.

That even given his social status and connections and money, Maura still loved someone else over him.

His eyes darted between the rest of the piles before they found the folder he had hardly given any thought to the past few weeks. He flipped it open to the page marked with bright red tabs to find what he suddenly suspected. Empty lines. For both Maura and Jane. Missing signatures they needed to get the divorce his impending marriage required.

"Garrett, did you find it?"

His head snapped up at the call from the other room, having completely forgotten about his original task.

"Yeah, coming," he shouted.

He quickly put everything away in its original spot, picking up the planner as he walked back to the dining room. And with each step a plan solidified in his mind. If Maura wasn't going to get Jane to sign those divorce papers, he would.


End file.
